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male
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anonymous
writes: Please can someone help me? My girlfriend has lots of male friends, which is not something that particularly bothers me, but there is one friend I'm a bit concerend about.I've often noticed her texting him and talking to him on msn while I'm at her place, and she never mentions that she's spending the night with me, even when he asks what she's up to. He has also volunteered to pay for her to go for a night out with him and his friends in the past, and I know she sees a lot of him because they do the same degree at university. I also noticed she posted little comments on her myspace website, that related to him. When I asked her about them she removed them and tried to change the subject.I know that this hardly sounds like an illicit affair but I know that males are rarely friends with females unless there is at least an attraction there, and it's starting to worry me. Am I just paranoid and jealous or is this something that I need to confront her about?
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female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (19 April 2006):
You should just say that you are pleased that she has a good friend, but that you have a natural curiosity and that given that her good friend, you have an element of jealousy too. Tell her that you don't want her to end her friendship with him or anything, but that you want to be very close to her, and start to discuss him with her, so that you can be the closer one. Just ask her (undefensively) about her relationship with him, and if possible, form a relationship with him yourself.
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