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male
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*anboy17
writes: My partner of 4yrs has gone off of sex. I am trying to support her as best I can as she says that she feels fat and has done for months now. This has been since she felt that some of her clothes getting too tight. She has a wonderful body and is not overweight at all. I tell her as often as possible how lovely she is and that she is gorgeous. She has not felt like making love to me for about 2 months and I am getting very frustrated. Although I would not have an affair or be unfaithful to her in any way I want things to go back to how they were. We have talked and she says she feels guilty about not making love to me and she says that she still finds me attractive and is as in love with me as ever she was. I want to support her but I dont know what else to say. There is nobody else involved I am sure of that. She had a bout of bulimia about 2 1/2 years ago which she said was the period of time when she felt she looked her best. She did have a wonderful figure but to me and all around her she still has. I dont know what I should do for the best. I love her dearly and want to support her through this but I am getting frustrated with the situation. She does not want to go to a doctor or counsellor. She is my best friend aswell as my fiancee and I do not want to lose her over this.Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): belemia is a serious disease. u need to stand in front of ur lady, put ur hands on her waist and tell her she is beautiful, she is gorgous, and sexy. every day, any chance u can get u need to reassure her that there is nothing wrong with her figure. she i nothing like the rest of us where we are upset because we are having a fat day. to her this fat day is every day. keep talking to her about going to see the doctor, even if u have to remind her about what happened 2 yrs ago and how hard it was for her and u to get through it. get help now. as for the sex, try with the lights off.
A
female
reader, xxMoonshinexx +, writes (9 October 2006):
 Although speaking from a female prospective I can understand why men get so frustrated over how women think about themselves particuarly when it comes to their body shape.
My initial reaction after reading your article was that there may be another problem and unfortunately you hit the nail on the head when you said that she had suffered from Bulimia. Im sure you are aware that there are many symptions to Bulimia and its not just a weight loss issue and generally feeling rubbish about your appearance.
Im assuming you live with her, have you noticed any other changes apart from her sex drive?
Her reluctance to go to the doctor may be an indicator that she may be affected by her eating disorder again but on the other hand she may not feel that she is unwell. Keep a close eye on her moods, eating habits, self esteem ect in the near future if you notice a change perhaps speak to someone else who may be able to persuade her to seek help.
ALthough its nice to hear positive comments from you partner about your body and how you look, if you are really bad about yourself, I tend to feel as if they are only saying it because its easy and they are hoping it will make me feel better.
Keep on giving her reassurance but dont go over board.
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