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My g/f thinks my cousin's love interest likes me and is telling me not to talk to her!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2011)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello cupids :)

So a couple of nights ago went to a party, both my cousin and I are lesbians, I went with my girlfriend but we didn't hang out much. Well my cousins sort of fling was there and she is very nice, not my type at all, well my girlfriend has a big mouth and messed up their fling, they are gonna stay friends but are long active with one another, well at the end of the night we all exchanged numbers and pins. My cousins almost girlfriend, has been talking to me and I thought nothing of it, just friends right. Well now my girlfriend is saying I need to stop because she may like me. I don't feel that way at all, I did with one conversation but the rest have been very friendly and normal. I don't know if my girlfriend is jealous that they don't talk or that I'm talking to her. Either way I would never hurt my cousin that way and I'm really not interested. Should I stop talking to her I don't want to be rude and we all have plans in a few days. Talk about awkward.

View related questions: cousin, exchanged numbers, jealous, lesbian

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011):

Pretty simple solution to this really. Your girlfriend is acting jealous so you just tell her at the first hint of this other girl liking you, being too flirty or trying it on etc, you will tell her immediately nothing will ever happen. That's it.

You've done nothing wrong, but you have to manage this carefully, your goal is to make sure this other girl never gets the wrong idea, you have to maintain complete physical distance, no touching in any way, no physical closeness. It is rude of your girlfriend to ask you to be rude to this other girl and stay away from her. Tell your girlfriend that you will maintain a respectful distance not only for her sake but your cousins. Also try and get your girlfriend to explain what she means, what makes her think she likes you, what signs is she seeing that you're missing because you're not a fool right? You'd know if she was showing more than just a friendly interest in you and you'd take the right steps to resolve that. If your girlfriend start marking her territory every time you meet another girl who's nice to talk to then that could become old very quickly.

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A male reader, mrg123 United Kingdom +, writes (22 April 2011):

mrg123 agony auntOh dear. Well the first thing is not to feel bad here. You have absolutely no determining say in the actions of others. If she is interested and my instincts say your gf is right on this one, thats not your fault and you can be held in no way responsible here. The thing is, and I dont know what issue caused this person to lose interest in your cousin? I think that interest may stem from her being more interested in your cousin than this person cares to admit. She seems to have transferred her feelings to you.

Now, I can understand why your GF feels this way BUT she shouldnt stop you talking to them because she should trust you when you say your not interested. I believe you on that and that you never would be. So, what to do? I'd try and be peacemaker here and sort out the mess between this person and your cousin if you can. I cant really tell if thats possible from this; my feeling is this is a relatively minor and rather silly thing which is a product of insecurity on this persons part about the depth of their feelings for your cousin. Could be totally wrong though. Good luck and let us know what happens :)

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