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My g/f thinks I won't wait until shes ready to have sex... What should I do?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 February 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am 19, my gf is 16. We have only been togheter for a month but already talked about sex. She is a virgin and I have slept with 5 girls in the past. She said that she wants to wait until she's ready and I tell her that I respect that and am willing to wait. However, I bring up the subject of sex a lot and I think she thinks that Im trying to pressure her into having sex with me but Im not. I think she is afraid that im going to leave her or cheat on her but Im not. I dont want to lose her. What should I do to show her that I am willing to wait and that she doesnt have to worry about me leaving her or cheating on her?

Thanks.

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A male reader, MyDestiny United States +, writes (19 February 2009):

MyDestiny agony aunt be like " hey, i konw i've been talking about sex alot lately, but i don't want you to think i'm pressuring you, im totaly cookl with your dicision, im just really open to talk about it that's all"

she'll understand after that

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009):

If you are with her to get sex then get out of the relationship. If you are with her because of her personality then stay.

She is much younger than you and people see it as sexual abuse, since you have slept with 5 women and are planning to have sex with her.

If you respect her enough and if you wish to keep the relationship healthy with her, then remove the sex subject completely. Many people confuse sex with real love, and sex causes unwanted attachment between a man and a woman. So think if you would actually have sex with her, she would become more attached to you and it would be uncomfortable. Or you would stay together for the wrong reason-sex changes the way people "feel" towards each other, it's like super glue.

Also it would be nice if her first time with a man would be actually with her husband. Then she would feel safe and trusted, and then her ultimate wish for respect is met.

There are too many young people who wonder around the world and sleep with most people with who they go out, and can't find happiness. There are too many young ladies who have lost their self-worth and respect because a guy took their virginity.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009):

To my opinion, the best thing you can do is not talk(or only very very rarely and then talk in the future) about sex with her anymore (I know it's difficult), but everytime you start to talk about it's could confirm her idea and unsecure feelings about the subject.

That is what I would do, but I would do more. Start to cuddle more, kissing more sensual then before. Kissing her shoulders and especially her neck, but do not go more down because she will be confused about your aim.

And when your gf is ready, she will take the initiative and this can take a month, a year or even longer.

Don't forget that she is only 16 and 1 month together is very short, especially for girl.

Your are a nice guy that you respect her.

Hope that my answer could help you oin the right direction.

Have a nice time together

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009):

You have already found the answer. Just go with the flow. Talk about what she likes since you already know what she does not like. It's up to you if you want to keep her. But I'm proud of her somehow. You should too.

These days it's not easy to find a virgin girl. Good luck. If you have to cheat, don't let her know. That is if you can't stay single.

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