A
female
age
36-40,
*oku
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, but her mom doesn't want her with me. She thinks we don't talk anymore, and she's set her up with some other guy. She is now confused and says she likes this guy, but still likes me. I'm hurt over this, what should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, helphelp77  +, writes (7 April 2009):
Sounds like a tricky situation and a year is a very long time.
Obviously its hard for a stranger over the internet to assess the situation, and you ultimately know whats right. However, if the circumstances are hard and she does like this guy then if you do like her perhaps the selfless thing needs to be done and you should encourage her to go with him. Ultimately, letting her go will probably result in her coming back to you as it shows you have her best interests at heart.
Its easy to like someone you just start dating. Its at the early stages where no faults are apparant and you haven't started to really get to know each other so it can all seem perfect. You two have been seeing each other over a year which shows you have something special as you know each other in-and-out by now and are willing to lie to her mum for this. Perhaps setting her free will then make her realise what you had and she will return (if you want her to), with an attitude which is mroe willing to fight her mum for this (although i can understand its hard for her and lying is easier).
If I were you I would hope that what we had was special enough for her to choose me and do that by stepping back and encouraging her to try things with this guy. In the mean time, enjoy your independance and get some headspace to decide if she does come back- Do you want someone you can be serious with? After you being together for a year her disrespecting your relationship by doing this definitely needs some thought. You obviously care for her but you aren't a doormat afterall are you?
Hope it all goes well.
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