A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my friends with benefits recently told me he needs a break. Apparently he's mad at me because I called when his soon to be wife showed up at his house to discuss the divorce. I did't know she was there. We talk every day. We lived together 13 years, an ugly breakup. He contacted me 3 1/2 years ago and I've been seeing him since. I know, I'm the bad one. I just don't understand why the change of heart. He is still going through with divorce and we always have gotten along. confused.
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a break, divorce, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 March 2018):
 An ex contacted you 3 1/2 years ago and he is about to be divorced.
Was he having a FWB relationship with you while he was married?
From what you have written he is a cheater who got found out, maybe he didn't like you phoning when his soon to be ex was there because you are part of the reason they are being divorced.
I don't get why you would want to have sex with somebody with whom you share a messy breakup with in the first place. Surely you aren't that desperate for a bit of sex on the side? Maybe go find a man who isn't already attached elsewhere or buy a vibrator.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (23 March 2018):
 FWB means no strings attached sex, which includes the right to end or suspend it without having to come up with explanations.
Hard to believe all this nonsense is going on between two people in their fifties.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie +, writes (23 March 2018):
 I agree with aunt honesty, this is a confusing post. You lived with him for 13 years, and had an ugly breakup - so you were in a relationship with him. My understanding of FWB is that you are friends, and that you aren't in a relationship. However, you occasionally have sex. This sounds more like he is your ex and is using you for sex. This man is not your friend. It is confusing and messy. And is this really how you want to be living? Don't you believe that you deserve better?
Take care xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2018): soon to be ex wife
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (22 March 2018):
Ask him. But keep in mind if you agreed to be a f*ck buddy he may feel he doesn’t owe you an explanation.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 March 2018):
 Do you mean his soon to be ex wife? Or are you the soon to be ex wife? Sorry your post confuses me.
If you where both together and had an ugly break up why would you go back there? also why is it all your fault?
It sounds like he was using you for sex and if that is the case you are much better off without him. Maybe he is going to give things another go with his wife so he doesn't want you calling and messing things up.
Where you the wife or the mistress? Sorry your post is not very clear.
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