A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone. So just a bit of background info, my boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months, we're both 19 and we have known each other for 3 years ("friends with benefits" for 2 years of that) so I guess I would say given our ages we have a bit of history. Our relationship is great, he is amazing and caring and there's lots of love. Our sex life is awesome too, considering we've been having sex since we were both 16 (took each others virginity). No problem, right ?Well, my problem is this: I am starting to wonder if we will last. Our bond is very strong but I have watched and heard of so many relationships and marriages crumble, and it's starting to really convince me that monogamy simply cannot work, and it is too rare for us to become an exception rather than a statistic. I'm worried he's going to get bored and break up with me to "find something better" because he will get sick of me in general, sort of a "same old" attitude. In high school he did screw around and have sex with other girls but it was only one or two (this was after we took each others virginity). We don't really have a routine, we see each other often but spontaneously and are very independent of each other. He can do what he wants (go out, etc) as long as he doesn't cheat on me and vice versa. He doesn't have to "check in" with me or ask my permission to do anything, and I dont look through his phone or facebook messages. He is a free man because my saying is I'm your girlfriend and not your mother. He has my full trust unless he cheats on me or lies and acts sneaky, and he knows if he cheats on me even once that the relationship will be over, no ifs ands or buts. The same goes for me if I were to cheat on him. We are both happy with our relationship, I'm just wondering if we'll last 2, 3 years from now. I could honestly see myself marrying him some day but I'm wondering if that's me being naieve and not realistic. I'm just sort of lost right now. Thanks for all your advice !
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2011): Thanks so much for the advice ! :) it made me feel better. I am the OP by the way and just to clear things up he is my boyfriend not my FWB, we use to be FWB before our relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2011): I've been going through the same mixed emotions. "Our bond is very strong but I have watched and heard of so many relationships and marriages crumble, and it's starting to really convince me that monogamy simply cannot work, and it is too rare for us to become an exception rather than a statistic."I always felt my boyfriend and I would be an exception, but I'm scared that it'll fade off in the future and we might not last. But I've come to terms with the fact that we're still young, we trust and love each other, and we both plan to have a future together, but we can only wait and see what happens. Take each day as it comes, and enjoy the time you've got together. Not every couple as strong as they may seem will get through everything, things change, and that's the truth, but you know, there are those exceptions, and who knows, you guys might still be together in another few years. As long as you guys keep a strong relationship and trust each other, I think straight away, you have a very good potential to last.Goodluck. :)
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