A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20, turning 21 in september. When i was in my first year of college in 2007 i fell in love with a boy who was in 2nd year. We started going out but my sister,who was my guardian and acted like my mother since i dont have parents, didnt approve of the relationship and said i was too young i should wait until im at least in 3rd year and if it was indeed meant to be with this guy then he would wait for me. So the relationship ended,we were both heartbroken but he moved on and got a gf a year later. I, on the other hand couldnt get another bf, all the way to my final year and till now. I have a degree, but no bf. All the guys i liked didnt like me back, and some were taken. I started messing around with my ex in my 3rd and 4th(final) year and he broke my virginity but he didnt leave his gf.When i went on holiday to go into 4th year, i started messing around with a guy from the same house. He is a nephew to my sister's husband and he's 25. He has liked me for many years so early last year i said he can be my sex buddy. We have been doing this secretly in my sister's house until somewhere around june when our guardians had strong suspicions that we were doing something fishy. They didnt have evidence but they sent him out of the house. He went to live with his brother but now he is about to get a place of his own.My concern now is that what started as fwb turned into something else. He has totally fallen in love with me and i love him too but he is not on my level and i am ashamed of him. He had to repeat about 4times just to get his high school certificate, then did a scanty course which he barely passed, and couldnt get a job. I found him a job when he was chased out of the house. I dont live with my sister anymore since she and her family moved to a different city from where i work. Im now livin with family friends but intend to get a place of my own soon. This guy says i should move in with him,im his life, he'll kill himself if i dump him. I tried to end it once with him and he cried like a little baby thats when i realised it wont be easy to end it.Im still with him since he has boosted my self esteem by literally worshipping me, but people dont know about us, they think im single. Im afraid to settle down with him because i'll not give him the respect he deserves as a man,since i earn 8times his salary,and im even the one who got him the job. He also used to smoke weed,was a womaniser and used to steal but says i changed him into a good person.Im afraid to leave him because its like his happiness depends on me and im afraid he'll harm himself if i leave him. Also,i dont know if any man can ever give me the amazing sex that he gives me, let alone love me as much as he does.A new guy has turned up that people would approve of, we finished uni together and now he has a good job at a bank, he says he wants a relationship but keeps talking about sex so i dont know if he is seriousWhat should i do good people? I dont know what to do about guy 1.im not willing to sacrifice everything for him,get scorned by family and friends because of him. I can afford to lose him but i dont want to hurt him.
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fell in love, heartbroken, my ex, on holiday, self esteem, womaniser Reply to this Question
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female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 Tell him you can't be with him. Trust me, he won't kill himself. He'll probly find another person to have sex with. And you have too much pride to date him. Why is that? It doesn't matter about how much people make. And you say he was a womanizer yet you let him womanize you. Find someone who you don't have to feel ashamed to be with, which is really sad.
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