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My friends seem to chose guys based on looks

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Question - (17 January 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 January 2010)
A age 41-50, * writes:

When I talk to my friends, their requirements for guys are mainly based on looks. My friends are very pretty- they have always been told they are pretty and they know they are pretty. When they talk, they talk about wanting to date a "hot guy" or not liking a guy because he is "not cute enough" or doesn't drive a nice car. This all seems so shallow and superficial to me. I try to tell them that looks may fade, but they don't listen. My friends also forget that they have been rejected in the past by guys, but it seems like they are out for vengeance or something by turning down guys who ask them out. I think it also makes me unsure of myself because I'm always the "cute" or "funny" one- never pretty, hot, etc. I don't have guys constantly dropping like flies for me like they do. Personally, I'd rather have an intelligent guy who can carry on a conversation than just some random "hot" guy. But I feel like I'm the odd one out because I'm not obsessed with looks and getting attention like they are. Though it just seems like such a waste to be so artificial. This is something that has been bothering me for a while- am I getting all upset over nothing? Or do my friends just have some growing up to do?

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (17 January 2010):

And out of all your friends, who do you think is the one the truly nice guy will pick? Who do you think will have the best relationship in the end? who do you think will be happiest? You will :). You're right, they are superficial. They're not really happy. Truly, they are sad. And each one will make a bad decision on a boyfriend and end up hurt. There is nothing wrong with you at all. Take your time getting to know men, stay as you are. I promise you that when a really nice guy comes along, he'll prefer you to them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010):

I think shallow girls tend to have low self esteem. They can't relate/sense the inner man, or something like that, due to having a poor/non existent relationship with their fathers.

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