A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was in a long distance relationship with this guy we'll call him H. We met a week before he went to uni 5 hours away from where i live but carried on speaking on msn everynight- webcamming, video calling etc. He was due home for christmas in which we would spend my 16th birthday and christmas together, however the night he was due to come home he didnt and then completely ignored me. I took this rather badly, stopped eating, became very very depressed and was in an incredibly bad place. Now hes come back saying he was sorry about before, he chickened out and is very sorry he hurt me and seemed genuinely sorry. We spent 5 hours on msn discussing what went wrong and why and now im giving him a second chance and we are taking a whole different approach to this by meeting up regularly for a day and speaking on the phone more instead of just on msn. The only thing is all my friends are worried that he will chicken out again and that i will get hurt. Am i a fool for giving him a second chance?sorry if this was long! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): Good friends always seem to know us the best, don't they. They have an inside view of what's going down, in your life and relationships. . And they are concerned about your well being. It seems they are still a tad edgy and uncomfortable about him, in a way. Maybe you need to reassure them, you you are going into this, a bit wiser and a lot more cautious. And I hope you are, too. You let your heartfelt feelings get involved once and he pulled back, stopped contact. Now he's back, apologizing and wanting back in your life. When hurtful situations happen like this to females, I always tell them, to verbalize to their bf's, just what his actions did. I am glad you and he talked about this because I do believe that anyone should never date anyone you can't talk about "life and relationship issues" with. I hope you set some boundaries on what you will and will not tolerate in the future. He needs to know. One thing to always remember when it comes to relationships...you do have the power to make your own choices but you have to think smart and protect yourself a bit. This what boundaries do.
I also what to impress this on you. At 16, you are in the most freest, most liberated, most growing, creative time of your life. And at this age, he may not be the last guy you date, we just don't know. You learn about love and relationships as you go along...this is the great thing about being your age. So on that point, I suggest you don't put all your 'eggs in one basket' with this guy until he has established, a good proven track record under his belt--once again. Keep your options open, use your head and just take this one day at a time. And don't sit and pine away for him, waiting for his calls, stay real, stay honest with him--but get out there and fully enjoy your youth, your friends and still have a blast. Don't go through your teen years, attempting to attain value by attaching to some guy, who has treated you pretty crappy in your past. If he doesn't show any remarkable progress and displays little respect for you, in the near future, don't waste your time. Drop him and carry on, because dear, a girl just doesn't settle for that type of pain. There is a wonderfully amazing potpurri of intelligent, great looking, decent guys out there..ones that would never do this to you. You may have to go through a few bad 'eggs' in life to finding the one true for you, but that's life....we've all been there. Good luck, sweety and take care of 'you'
A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (23 February 2008):
 All i can say is everyone deserves a second chance but be prepared incase the worst does happen.
I suggest you could try once more but if he lets you down again then hes had his chance. good luck x
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 February 2008):
 When you break a bone and it grow back, it will become stronger. Just as in relationships, you become stronger after each failure. You know your mistakes and your weakness and you will try to overcome them.
No one is perfect. If you do not give him another chance , you may never know his true potentials.
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