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female
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anonymous
writes: hey, my best friend dated a guy, they were going out for a year, but they broke up. She's pretty upset about it, but she told me she got over it. The problem is, after about a month, the guy asked me out. I secretly had a crush on him when they were going out, but nothing happened between us. I told him it wouldn't be a good thing to do, thought I do like him. He said they are over each other.Still, he keeps on asking me out. I know friendship is more important than love relationships, and I was thinking of a way to tell my friend, but I am scared she's gonna take as a wrong way.Help?
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (16 October 2006):
 I agree with rhythmandblues2 if you really want to go for this then test out your feelings for him and how you two gel together and then approch your friend, it would be a shame to tell her all this and fall out to then find that really there isn't anything between you and her ex and that you fell out with her over nothing.
Good luck :o)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): My point of view is a bit different than the rest posted here....I think it is unfair for you to be considering your friends feelings when the relationship is long over between them, if you really have feelings for this man I think you should be allowed to explore them. Perhaps you don't even need her blessing just to go out on a date to see how you really get along, if the relationship is to go further, tell her how you feel and ask for her blessing, tell her it was in no way meant to hurt her, but that you really think there is a viable relationship between the two of you. I guess you need to decide if you have true feelings for him or if this is just an attachment based on familiarity, or physical lust. If you think there is a true friendship and a mutual respect between the two of you then I say go for it.
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A
male
reader, haardman12 +, writes (16 October 2006):
You are in a dilema over this problem of your friend not being over this guy. If you want to go out with this guy be up front with you friend first that he has asked you out and you didnt want to hurt her but also if he was hitting on you before he broke of with your friend it is likely that he will do the same to you after he has what he wanted from you. Be wary and take it slowly cause friends first before a physical relationship usually lasts longer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): Tell her what he said, but don't tell her right away how you feel about it. If she flips out about it, you probably shouldn't persue this guy. If she seems kind of neutral about it, then tell her how you feel. And no matter what, always be honest with her. The most important thing is that you never lie to a friend.
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A
female
reader, x.sum chik.x +, writes (16 October 2006):
hey there hun
umm many of my friends have been in a situation like this.. but is this crush based upon lust or do u rli like him emotionally and connect with him.. if its just based on looks i wouldnt go there... if u feel u rli connect with him them maybe u could go out. but normally friendhsips last longer then boys..
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