A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm worried about my friend, she met a guy of plenty of fish 5 years ago,she practically speaks or txt every day with him,he's moved in with her 2times for a couple of months even her toddler loves him(dad doesn't see her child)Anyways last Yr when he moved bk with her he said he wasn't going to leavr again,that was last Yr this Yr speak most days, she also found out he was seeing somebody else through fb,she's asked many times and he always denies it, she trys to forget it but I believe deep down she thinks everyday about it, she also recently went on her fb and said engaged although he's not on fb and doesn't say who engaged with my friend knows deep down its with him, she's actually gutted but doesn't show it... It doesn't help that he's going to come bk either in Jan or Feb to live as has a new job which leaves her even more confused with you he's engaged to her but said to my friend hes coming bk. What the he'll can I do,she can see it and so can I but with him saying all this why won't he just admit to her instead of leading her on all the time. If she doesn't speak to him for a few days he's always the first to speak to her
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female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (28 December 2014):
 Second wise_owl. Don't be pushy because you won't be heard but definitely speak your truth when it comes welcome.
~SY
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2014): All you can do is catch her when she falls.
In truth, she sees everything you see, but her heart is in denial. She wants him so badly, she is willing to put up with him no matter what he does. She has a deep pocket full of forgiveness for him. She calls it love. It's stupidity and low self-esteem. She believes in her heart (right now anyway) he's the best she can do. That he's better than having no man at all. She lost the father of her child, and she isn't giving this one up that easily; then have to face all the pain and loneliness she felt when her baby's daddy took off on her. She has extremely bad taste in men, and apparently thrives on drama.
Count on this. We all have a saturation-point.
Friends and family may warn and scold us. We see the facts before our very eyes. Until we reach that saturation-point; we see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil.
He will have ground her so deeply into the dirt by then; that she will not be able to stand the very air he breathes. For some fools, that's what it takes. By the time she reaches this point, she'll need a shoulder. Be there.
You can't control her feelings or run her life. She's a grown-woman, and makes her own decisions. Therefore; she is willing to accept the consequences of choices. You can be a good friend, and give her comfort through her pain. Offer her advice, only if she is willing to listen to it. Stay out of her business. That will protect you from the fallout or getting your on head bitten-off. Be a good listener; but speak your mind when she comes to dump all her crap on you.
There were men or people in your life others may have decided on your behalf shouldn't be there. Until you decided they had to go; they stayed in spite of the opinions of others. The same applies to your friend.
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