A
female
age
30-35,
*urityChild
writes:I am a Afican American girl and I have a Hungarian and Puerto Rican...Recently I over heard some of my "friends" talking about him...in a racist way. They said "I always knew she would go with a white guy" "That is so freaking nasty" "I couldn't imagine" "wtf is wrong with her"... I never knew people stilll had the mind set that interacial relationships are "BAD"... personally when I look at my boyfriend I dont see that he is any different from me than I am from him, and it hurts me that people still feel this way, and people of the same race as me, I feel we should know how it feels to be discriminated against...How should I confront them about them?, or should I just let it go?...Am I right about how im feeling? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): wow. i completely understand where you're coming from. the same thing happened to me once. personaly, I don't think it should matter if you are of different races. if you both have feelings for each other, then that's really all that should matter. as far as your friends go, that's really rude. I think you should confront them, and let them know that what they're doing is racist, and just flat-out wrong. let them know that you want them to stop, and that it doesn't matter to you if you two are of different race, so it shouldn't matter to them.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Depends. It sounds like you're primarily upset because they said something bad about you and the guy you care about, with the racism a secondary concern. Disregard this advice if that is incorrect. I'll address the first point because honestly, there's not much you can do about the second.
First, you have every right to be upset that they are saying bad things about you and him behind your back. All chicks do that, some more than others, but that's still not alright. Morally speaking, you can and should call them out on it - that is, if they have no rational basis for believing you should not be together, they need to stop gossiping.
Practically speaking, doing that could cost you a few friendships. The ones who stay will be better people, but if you're concerned about keeping *every*one* happy, the surest course is to keep quiet. I'd say speak up, but it's your life, and your choice.
Everyone is prejudiced to some degree. You need to decide if your friends' thoughts have exceeded your tolerance for that particular opinion.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): Black girl here dating a beautiful Peruvian man. Some friends bashed me for it but I confronted them and basically told them that if they wanted my friendship, the comments had to STOP. I hate racism and am willing to drop even the longest friendship to get it out of my life. My friends eventually learned to shut up and give him a chance. I only had to part ways with one. In your case, tell them to get know him first and then, see how they like him. Dare them to stop the comments and if they can't even do that, they're not worth it. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 You are 100% right, some people are just so ignorant when it comes to race, at the end of the day we are all the same no matter what colour religion or gender we are. Its sad to hear that there are still people out there who are racist. Colour should not matter at all its about the person themselves not there colour, we are all born differently from skin colour to hair colour to eye colour it shouldnt matter.
I think you need to confront them and tell them you heard what they said and you are deeply hurt by there comments. Tell them it is wrong to be racist and that they should ge to know your boyfriend for the guy he is not his colour. Goodluck sweetie.
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