A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I spent last night in my friend's bed, for about the fifth time since we met. We have a close friendship but he has relationship issues as he is divorced, is struggling financially and trying to change his life somewhat, but seems to have put the marriage breakdown behind him. We don't have a relationship, just this friendship and we also work on some professional stuff together as we work in the same industry. We get on so well and actually, I think I have fallen in love with him. He suggested we share a bed after an evening together a few months ago but nothing happened between us so I stopped doing it. However, last night we shared a bed together again and I put my arms around him. He held me tight also and we went to sleep like that. Just before he went to sleep he told me that he couldn't stop smilng, no matter how hard he tried. But he doesn't attempt to make love to me and only kisses me lightly on the lips saying goodnight. I don't know if I am undesirable in his eyes but a few months ago he told me that he could take our relationship much further but because he wanted to change his life and maybe go and live in another country, he didn't want to start something serious until he had made a decision. He doesn't have a relationship with any other women either. He is not gay! The trouble is, I would love to make love with him, but I sense I should not make that move. I don't know if he has issues with the size of his penis, but he often says that he doesn't like his body, that he is small, not handsome and old! He is only 39! I find him handsome and yes, he is not tall and very slight but I find him adorable and I don't mind if he is small in the other department either, because of the way I feel about him. However, I just don't know and I don't know how to ask him why we don't make love. Maybe I am afraid of the answer?
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (18 August 2008):
 Hi,
I am sure he just doesnt want to take advantage of you.
Also that he is afraid if you two make love he will move the relationship to the next level, which he just isnt ready for yet.
You have to admire this as he obviously thinks very highly of you .
But from your own perspective you have to ask yourself how long are you prepared to wait for something to happen. Having sex wont make the relationship but it certainly could complicate things.
He is obviously carrying a lot of baggage from his previous relationship, and is unsure of what to do.
If you are prepared to stick things out by all means do it, but you may be in for a big let down.
So it probably is best to keeps things on the semi platonic side for now. But you can't wait for ever, at some stage he will have to commit or not. It's not fair to keep you hanging is it?
Good luck.
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