A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:OK really difficult situation...any insight is needed, thanks in advance...What do you do when a dumb friend of yours (without permission) went off and told the man of your dreams( very 3rd grade) That you absolutely adored him and that this guy should go after me... And now he thinks you are a stalker... ( it was a year ago and I didnt find out till recentally, and I have been totally embarrassed and have hiden away because of it..) and everytime you actually try to aproach him for a normal chat.. he runs away or give you weird looks... I am completely devastated as my chances are seemingly ruined from nothing I did. I am in college.. this shouldn't be happeneing. Any advice to clear up the situation without making it worse than it is? It is very difficult to see/find this guy without losing all confidence and messing up. So since, I rarely see him, those times arent a positive aspect, as I dont get very close to him.. making me appear more stalkerish cause i cant approach him due to circumstance. Ive tried. I wish I could erase his assumptions. He doesnt have any friends that I know either... Its really effecting me thinking about it.. I've lost appetite.. Any help or insight is needed besides the 'get over it' aspect.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): I like the suggestion of the first post. I think this is probably bothering you more inside than it is the fellow, and you are probably reading things into it that aren't there when he ignores you which feeds on your insecurity.
If it would make you feel better that you cleared the air, I think you should ask him about it and make a joke of it and then move on....let him make the next move if there is to be one, and if not, it is time to move on from this and let it go, it really is not a big deal, and my guess your attraction is over blown even in your own mind because he is so elusive to you, you may not even really like him given the chance to get to know him....and if he is this elusive there is a reason for it like he is emotionally unavailable, and that is not a good trait in a potential boyfriend anyway.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): try this one or try both ..
1. just go up to him and say to him 'listen i found out that my friend told you that i like you. well just to set the record straight, sorry it's not true. don't get me wrong but i'm sure you're an awesome guy.' and then (or)
2. next you see him just 'totally ignore him' pretend he doesn't exist. and your face should look like you never knew him.
i've had this happened to me when the guy thought i liked him so i did both approaches and at the end he became curious and he made an effort to talk to me.
you see some guys want their ego stroked so they play hard to get, or they're just scared or they're conceited thinking they're all that.
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female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (29 October 2006):
 I remember a similar situation. Fell out with one of my friends and she told the object of my affection that i was in love with him, cried myself to sleep over not being with him and was basically just obsessed. I honestly thought i was going to die from the shame!
I think you should just laugh about it with him when you speak to him. Just be like "God i just heard that so and so told you i was so into you. haha she made me sound like a right one!" if you laugh about it he'll think she was just being a bit over excited and exaggerating everything. and he'll like that you can laugh at yourself. You'll be dying inside for a few minutes but at least it'll put at end to it and clear things up.
good luck! xx
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