A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 14. i self harmed with a razor about a year ago and then found out that a friend had been doing it as well. people said we did it together for attention...but it wasn't true!! for months we suffered from the bullying and teasing because of it which made us do it more. it made me feel better and was really comforting to have someone in the same position. i wont go into the details of why i did it...or why my friend did. all i know is that we have stopped now and are best friends...the self harm made me feel better and brought me closer to my friend. without it me and my best friend would never have become so close. anyway...we promised that we would never ever tell anyone, however, the school and our parents found out. anyway...now my friend has told me shes started again...and i cant break the promise or i will lose my best and only friend...what should i do?
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (3 November 2007):
As a recovering self harmer myself i know whats its like for people who do it and how addictive it is and even the smallest thing can cause a trigger and slip ups happen, she might just have been triggered and the old feelings came back and she need a release i went 2 years and then got triggerd its an old habbot thats hard to break, just let her know you are there for her, (and if you want to tlk to other survivors message me and il send you a link to a really great site its free and its like a little family we help each other get through things and offer support like you should do with your friend and there is a list of alternatives to cutting which really help. but if you dont want to join but do want the alternatives just send a message and il be more then happy to help)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): First, you should try to find out why she's started again. Although I suspect you already know, as it may be the same reason as before.The solution is going to be difficult, especially for someone suffering from depression (and lets not deny it, it IS depression).You have to start liking yourself for who you are.And to start, you need to stop caring about what others say or think about you. If they bully you, look down on you, or just make you not like them, then their opinion is worthless.It's as simple as that, and that's what makes it so difficult. We all care about what people think of us, we just need to teach ourselves who's opinions are garbage and who's we should listen to.The bully who is always pushing you around and calling you names? GARBAGE.The people who spread rumors about you? GARBAGE.The people you just don't get along with? GARBAGE.The only opinions that should matter are those of your friends and family, and the people you respect.Remember: They have to earn YOUR respect before you care about what they have to say.
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (3 November 2007):
 First thing's first- I've been there too and my daughter is going through something similar. There's one thing above all - you and your friend are SPECIAL AND BEAUTIFUL- don't ever forget it. You need to speak to someone- maybe your parents but I know that may not be something you're comfortable with. So maybe someone outside the situation, maybe an aunt or teacher you trust or a helpline perhaps. I really do feel for you and encourage you and your friend, from the heart, to help each other by getting in touch with an adult who won't judge you. It will get better if you do- trust me on that. Just don't forget that there are people like me and loads of others here who care :-).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry it's so long guys but i had to explain it all.
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