A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few months back, myself and my group of friends became friends with this girl. None of us went out with her as a date although we did things as a group and although she hinted that she liked us, we didn't really know which of us it was. However, i started to like her but didn't want to say anything though to her although i sort of hinted at it to my friend who said that he didn't like her. more recently though, she started becoming more clingy in that she started to follow us absolutely everywhere and try to be apart of everything we did. This wasa okay at first but then she started to sort of oust me out in ways such as talking about topics i didn't have a clue about and sort of sitting in a way that i was always away from her and my friend. Now, i find out that she asked him out and he accepted even though he said he didn't like her and i did. now i feel that she has replaced me in the group and i don't know what to do. They asked if i was okay with it which i said yes not wanting to make a scene but i'm not. What should i do? Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): In advance? Gwad man your on a website waiting for people to help you! You can't give any advance!
=P jokez =D
Anyway, I know how you feel with a friend taking away someone you like, but I'm unsure whether you still do like her, because you also say that you don't like her almost replacing you in your friendship group.
Your friend, by the way, was very insensitive for doing that when he knew that you liked her (I'm assuming he did but he may have misread your signals when you hinted that you liked her).
You need to remember a few things though:
- You are not replaced by her.
- Friendship is mutual. They obviously like you for a reason. If you feel in a group your intimidated, then call your friends at home, and try and broaden your range of friends.
- Maybe you should be the bigger man, compared with your friend. He must like her, regardless of what he says - unless he's desperate - to go out with her. As you know this, and must accept this, you step back and go after someone that you will be with. That can be a huge booster too.
Your already being mature about it by not making a big deal about it. Its obviously been on your mind, and the better people in this world are the ones that do things without people finding out.
If your really put out, and your friends exclude you, then again just pick them off one by one. Again they must have liked you for a reason.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): how many of you were there in your group and were any of them female aswel?
the fact that she was ousting you in such a public way shows that you as a couple wouldnt of worked,
if its was just guys in your group, she may of just seen it as a quick hook up with some one and got with any of you that were willing.
you need to ask yourself , what do/did you really like about this girl?
you also need to tell one of your group that you feel pushed out by her, if they dont respond in a positive way, maybe a new group would help?
its always hard when a friend gets with some one you like, and even if they say they dont like that person , opinions can always change once you get to know some one better.
my advice is to add another girl to your group,one that you like and you know likes you, get to know each other and see what happens.
its not worth dwelling on the past if there wasnt much there to start with ....hope this helps?x
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