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female
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anonymous
writes: Hiya. I've got this mate who is a really great mate to me, helped me through tough times and always made me laugh. We have always been really special freinds and I wouldn't ever want to lose her.The only problem is that I feel she is copying me with everything.I told her the other day I said had a really bad cold and so did she. I said that I had fainted, so did she. I told her I had been coughing up blood and so did she. I told her I was getting a new mobile, so did she. I told her I was getting a dog named Tinkerbell, so did she. It's too many cooincidences to think that we are alike. I have written in about this problem before, and was told to talk to her about it which I did in an adult-like way so she didn't feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. The only result in me talking to her was that she felt offended that I hadn't taken it as a compliment.I did at first, but it does get REALLY annoying and difficult to not shout at her.I have spoken to her about it more than once, and it's got bad enough that other people have noticed it too. Please don't tell me how to sort this problem out without offending her... I just don't know how to tell her without upsetting her which is what I seem to be doing at the moment.Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miffy Ninjafairey  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Hey, dont feel bad, my friend copies me too, Annies her name, all she does is do the same I do, my music, my clothes, and even my pets sniffle (my rat.) name!! I hate it!! And my sister got a chibi tattoo and she even said that SHE wanted it first, and my sister is a big fat copier for getting a tattoo. And Ive tried to tell her nicely that she copies me, but she says that I do. And I have even changed everything once, clothes, everything. And she changed too!!! Grr. It sucks when you get something, it makes it a part of you, and then someone takes it and takes a part of you, and even if its from the store, everyone wants to be their own self. And its so stupid that people copy. Like even once I looked at anime of Inuysaha, and I was gonna buy it on E-bay, So when I looked it up, and left her house, she went straight in the history and bought it~!!! And then out of spite bragging how great a deal it was, and then, you know, I wanted it, and when I bought it, she said I was a copier. And I got so angry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2006): She being offended is her sensitivity problem. If her personality dictates that sort of response, then there aren't very many different ways you can express your annoyances with her. If I were in your shoes, and fortunately, I am not afraid of upsetting people like her, I would alternatively either A) continue on our relationship not saying anything more and hope that she will 'grow' out of it, or B) avoid her. Mind you, those two are alternative methods.
What I would have most likely have done is tell her that it's fantastic that she respects and possibly admires me, but no matter how much of a compliment it is that she tries to be like me, I find it a 'tad' irritating. I would also tell her that I am 'sure' she may feel offended, but at the very least, I will also tell her that she should do things on what she likes, what her character dictates, develop herself, and so on. Rather than copy me, etc.
Yes, this WILL probably offend her, but like my opening sentence, "She being offended is her sensitivity problem."
Anyway, if simply you don't want to risk anything at all, simplest way is to either do A or B as I have suggested.
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