A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My friend just lost her husband. I sent her flowers, but what else can I say or do to console her? I’ve never had to deal with a loss of a loved one so I don’t really know what to say or do? I’m taking this loss extra hard too, because without my friend or my husband knowing – her husband and I had a beautiful night of passion that was an explosion of forbidden feelings we had towards each other hushed down for years. However, after that night; we were never together again. We were both married and all friends. I’ve been over her house while she and I both cry about the loss and really want to be there for her, but my husband is starting to get jealous of the deceased and I don’t know how to act around him.Her husband gave me an item that night to always remember that night by.I’d like to give it to him at the funeral for my own closure but don’t want it to be noticed by anyone – so I might not do it.I’m feeling horrible and I’m not a bad person. I know we should have never had that night – but one thing lead to another and a whole year has past since then and it was never repeated. This hurts so much – I can’t stop crying for everything.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): hi im sorry to hear about your loss however what you need to remember is that what ever your feeling your friend is feeling it 100 times worse - they were married and probably had numerous passionate nights together.At the moment all you need to do is be strong for her let her know that your there, ready to listen for when she feels ready to talk.In circumstances like these no-one knows what to say all you can do is be there for her ready for when she needs you.I agree with the other post regarding the item he left you, to bury that with him i think would be greately disrespectful to both your friend and his family, i do understand that you need closure however I think you could find another way to do this something that wont impact his wife.Regarding your husband I think you need to sit him down and explain that this isn't really an appropriate time for him to be showing his jealous side. Tell him you need his support in order for you to offer the best form of support to your friend.Please make sure that no-one ever finds out about what happened between you and your friends husband as it (im sure) will destroy any relationship you have with either your friend or husband.Take Care
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): This isn't about you or how you miss her husband. If this woman is a friend, why would you have done that in the 1st place? I always wonder why do people have affairs with their friend's husband/wife or even b.f./g.f.? It makes me sick. People have no morals & no respect for friendships? You definetly can't bury him with an item that represents the affair you had with your friend's husband. That is total disrespect. How would you feel if the tables were turned & she screwed your husband? Just stay out of it, and maybe you should consider not having friends if that is the way you treat them.
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