A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:So my friend is trying to set me up in a long distance relationship. The problem is that im not ready for a relationship and especially not long distance. Im 14. He is really really eager about it and I really do appreciate the effort and the thought he put into it but I really don't want to mess up and hurt anyone. On top of that I could never do long distance as i just could not live with knowing that tge relationship will probably end before I so much as touch their arm. I just am really not ready for this with all my anxiety and insecurities and low self esteem. I know that some people as young as I am may be able to actually hold wonderful very long term relationships but I am not one of those people . I don't want to hurt my friends feelings or make him feel like I don't appreciate the sentiment though, and knowing him he will probably take it that way if I explain. What should I do? Also I should probably say that I know the girl hes setting me up with and I mean if it weren't for everything else I probably would date her .
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2014): You should just be 14 and be you. And not have to deal with relationships .
A
male
reader, Forge +, writes (21 August 2014):
 I agree with honeypie. I'm only a year older than you OP, and sure, dating is nice, but there's really no reason to it. I'm sure we all have OUR reasons for it, but no matter what, until you have a car and a job and money, you have literally no reason to date. Can't go anywhere or do anything, especially in an LDR.
I say you tell him you don't want to be in a relationship with him, and you appreciate the effort he's put forth, but dating isn't your thing just yet. Nor his.
-Førg€-
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 August 2014):
 Your frien is an idiot(sorry but I'm right) He probably thinks Facebook is a really good place to find girls too. Any relationship is hard enough to hold together. A long distance one is twice as hard. o is he trying to set you up for failure? Sounds like it to me...just messing with you? sounds like it to me. at 14 you at least have enough 'smarts' to recognize that this probably isn't a good thing. why not take up a hobby or play sports instead? Your 'friend' is wierd and you might want to reconsider that friendship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 August 2014):
 Just tell him you aren't looking for a GF at the moment. That you appreciate his efforts, but no thanks. YOU do not OWE him any long and emotional explanations. YOU didn't ASK him to do this for you. THAT was HIS choice. So tell him thanks, but no thanks. It's that simple.
You write:
*** know that some people as young as I am may be able to actually hold wonderful very long term relationships but I am not one of those people . ***
You are 14. Dating should not really be on the top of your list in life right now.
It's OK to NOT want to do this.
Relax. There will be time for this soon enough.
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