A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Frustrating! The only word to describe my friend!Everytime we organise to do something she runs LATE!! And what's even more annoying is she never has any real excuse as to why!!Now I can understand people being 10, 15 minutes late etc.. But with her it's always half hour, 45 mins and one time she was over an hour late and we lost our table at the restaurant. What we started doing was telling her to be somewhere half hour before so if we had something booked for 8pm we'd tell her it's at 7.30pm. But she still never gets there and we (group of friends) end up waiting.We have told her she can't keep doing it and she findsit funny . Typical example last night we went out for a meal for another friends birthday and not only had this been planned 2 weeks ago with the times- I textedit her yesterday afternoon reminding her she need to be at restaurant for 7.15- what does she do? Text me at 7.30to say she is leaving her home!Even when we offer to pick her up she still keeps us wIting and all she does is faff about! Grr...Help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): It sounds like you and your friends have been very sympathetic towards her and her inability to manage time. Since she "finds it funny" it might be time to stop inviting her to places all together. When she wonders why no one calls her, simply tell her that you were all tired of her lack of concern for being a responsible and reliable friend.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (8 August 2010):
 I would be honest with her and tell her that you will not wait on her anymore. Being that ridiculously late is disrespectful of your time. On top of that, I would mean exactly what I said. No more warnings. No more waiting. She is a grown woman and should not be shielded from the consequences of her behavior.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): Hey it could be a medical condition she wants to keep private and you should respect it if you are friends.
I'm ALWAYS late myself - and like her, often 30 mins late. Why? I have irritable bowel syndrome, which means, in most cases, when I have somewhere important to go (or anywhere with friends, colleagues, etc.) with a "deadline," I get diarrhea and/or a queasy stomach. So I usually wait until I feel perfectly fine to leave my house, which often makes me late.
I don't tell people why I'm late - usually just brush it off as if I lost track of time. It's embarassing and a bit annoying (I know), but for the few close friends I've told, they're cool with it.
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (7 August 2010):
This is a terribly controlling person trying to emphasize her superiority over you and your mutual friends - ie she is the 'VIP' in the group on whom all others must dance attendance.I had a friend exactly like this : eventually I worked out that the only way to deal with it was as follows: I told him - look - I will make arrangements with others to which you are invited : it is entirely a matter for you whether you turn up at the agreed time and place, but under no circumstances will we wait any more even five minutes for you - take it or leave it.The response is that sometimes he turns up on time, sometimes he doesn't, but either way I feel that I have broken that 'controlling / dominating ' mechanism of making everyone wait.What I no longer do is EVER make an arrangement with him where my evening out or whatever is DEPENDANT on his turning up on time. Yes I enjoy his company when he turns up, but I'm no longer going to allow him to have the option of spoiling the occasion for me / others.In my bitter experience you cannot REASON with such persons and expect them to modify their behaviour - they get a huge kick out of keeping people waiting : all you can do is delete from your life / ves the occasions where they have the keeping you waiting option : try it and see; and report back on your findings.
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A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (7 August 2010):
 Hi hun, I sympathise with you, it's really annoying isn't it lol. The only thing i can suggest is you tell her the restaurant is booked at 7 when really it's booked at 7.30 and things like that. This way she will only be a few minutes late. My ex was always like that and it drove me mad. x
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