A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey i am 19 years old and so is my friend..she has been acting like a slut recently and i dnt know what to do..first she fails all her tests because she was busy having sex with her boyfriend,then she gets pregnant and she aborts the kid..and next she moves on to drugs..she has completely lost her mind and all though i try and make her understand she would never listen..and she always makes use of me(monetary wise)..she takes me shopping with her and never pays for the things she buys,we go out to a restaurant and she says she has not got her wallet and i have to end up paying..i even paid money for her abortion..its not the point of money here its just that i feel used and really shit about myself after all that she does..what do i do??
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female
reader, Prinsesslexi123  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Personally i think that what your friend needs is love.
Obviously she hasn't been getting that if she keeps moving on to new things especially drugs.
Drugs is not a good way to turn and no happy person would do it.
I think that your friend isnt using you but she just is very hurt and doesn't know where to turn. If it were me, i would sit my friend down and talk to her about her situation and what shes going through. Abortion is a big deal and she must have some baggage from that because that is not a little thing.
You need to help your friend through this and i don't think that she is using you in a mean way. I don't even think she knows she is so you should just sit her down and have a meaningful talk with her.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Trust me - she might be pretending like nothing happened but it will hit her one of these days like a ton of bricks. I think the fact that she is trying drugs now is a pretty clear indicator that she is heading for some pretty out of control behavior.
However if she keep it up maybe you have to cut her loose. She needs help and if she doesn't even confide in you, she isn't ready yet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell she stays in the dorms!!and her parents have no clue about this whole thing as they live in a different city..but even after all this she is not depressed or sad,she is continuing her life like nothing really happened..there is no guilt nothing..thats whats surprising..u have to realise ur mistake n work on it but she thinks that she hant done anything wrong..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2009):
Whoa, she is not only toxic for you she is also in serious trouble. She needs to see a professional and get some help. Having an abortion can cause serious trauma, which can result in loads of new problems such as addiction, self hating, suicide and depression. She needs help.
As far as the money, well if she doesn't have any money she can't buy stuff. Stop paying for stuff for her. You are enabling what she is doing. If you don't put your foot down now it will not stop. Stop going out to eat with her.
I know she is your friend, but you need to tell her that she needs help. There are plenty of hot lines for her to call and get some help. Do a goggle search. Tell her you will support her if she gets help, if not then you need to stop hanging out with her for a bit.
Where is her family in all this? Are they no help?
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