A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:OK... I have a friend who is engaged to be married. She's been with her guy 2 years now and From what I can tell when we are all together they are crazy for one another. The other day I get a call and she was crying. She went to visit one of her ex's ( who they never had sex) and ended up fooling around and then BAM.. They had sex.. Well... She claims she did nothing and he did it all to her, but now she's questioning her relationship with her fiance... Now the wedding is this fall, Should they postpone? He doesn't know what happened and I think if it were up to her, She wouldn't tell him. What do I tell her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo my Female Reader! Thank you so much. I won't let it cloud the friendship and you're right. We aren't perfect. But It just kills me to see it this way. So I'll do write and keep my lips sealed. I think it was a one time thing and I hope it NOT to happen again. Again.. Thank you~
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 Hi,
Well first and foremost it is your friends decision whether to go through with the marriage. The fact that she slept with someone else ( while serious ) is not really the main problem here (unless her fiancee finds out).
Is she still very young ( I mean under 23 ) she might be getting cold feet and the sex was a way of shaking off some cobwebs before taking the big plunge.
At the end of the day, she needs to work out whether she really wants to get married to this man and be faithful with him or is she harking for a bit of freedom. Marriage won't make the itch go away it will only exacerbate it.
But in the meantime, did they use protection? If not she needs to get herself checked out ( it would be a lousy wedding gift to her husband otherwise ). And there is the small matter of this guy she had sex with talking, he may not be able to resist bragging to his mates that he slept with a girl who is getting married. If you live in a small town the gossip line might just make your friend's life very uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): Maybe you should remind her in a polite way to think about what it might be like if the tables were turned. You can't force her to confess and if it was really a one time thing maybe she's better off not telling. It's hard to see things like that happen to couples you know and care about. I think when you see a so called happy couple it gives you the hope that relationships can work and when something bad happens it shows us how people can be and forces us to see that there is no such thing as perfect. Just try not to let it cloud your friendship.
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