A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi there i need some advice its not for me its for a friend of mine. see she just recently got married and she says that she loves this guy but she just cant bring herself to have sex with him they've never had sex. she said she thinks its cause she knows that he was with our friend and kinda treated her badly and that he lost his virginity to me even though he treated me good relationships after me werent. and she says that she wants to be with him but she just cant have sex with him and she cant even picture herself intimate with him at all and she doesnt know why i told her it was probably cause she only loves him like a friend not as a lover and she said she knows she loves him but it feels like shes married to a friend but she doesnt want to hurt him what should she do? thanks in advance for the advice. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (27 May 2007):
 Surely this issue should of been addressed before getting married?
I can understand what she is feeling and iit doesnt mean it has to be the end. She obviouly fell in love with him at some point and that love still remains but is being hidden by the truths which have come out recently.
She needs to push these feelings aside and look at herself and what she sees in her husband and if that can be re-built to something near to what it should be.
It seems to me that this is mental problem rather than not finding him physically emotioanlly attractive. She can work through this but she needs to learn to let go of the past and look at what she has in front of her.
Marriages need to be worked at so they both need to be able to talk about this as openly as possible and find a solution if there is one, which i am sure there is if both parties are willing to listen and understand eachother.
R
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (27 May 2007):
 She should not married to him. The longer they stay together, the more damage she's going to do to his heart and his pride. Tell her to get a divorce immediately. Part of being in a relationship is satisfying your partner's needs. He doesn't deserve that.
DV1
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