A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My father drinks a lot and it's having an effect on his relationship with my mother. I feel powerless and feel I can't doing anything to make it right. They argue, swear at each other and doors always slam. I've told dad to go to counselling and to get help with his drink problem but he doesn't seem to want to and isn't bothered about it. Meal times are very embarrassing as he cant keep any balance and talks nonsense as drunks do.While he was drunk and it was just the two of us having a meal. He asked whether I was happy in my job and how long I intended to do it for, and other questions, he says hes not very happy with his life but he won't state why.It depresses me as he's like this and I'm depressed as well as my friends away helping out the disadvantaged with her project across the continent. And I don't even know if we'll talk again or when she gets back whether she will continue to be my friend.At this time I need support her but she isn't replying to me online. She stood up for me when I was bullied, when my grandfather passed, she supported me and was also there when I got my heart broken by a female who had no respect for me.What should I do? help and advice appreciated.
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bullied, depressed, drunk Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2016): Not at all, it is aunt honesty and your right.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 June 2016):
 Looking at your follow up I have to ask do you think off this girl as more than a friend?
The thing is she is away living her life and helping out people in need, well done to her. Its a great achievement, why don't you think off doing something like this?
I know that you need support at the moment, but you cannot rely on your friend all the time. She has helped you in the past yes, but maybe now she is feeling tired and wants to do her own thing. If that is the case, you need to respect that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2016): Thank your for your advice on this. That could be true or it could be a completely different reason altogether. When I spoke to her on her last day at work, she seemed to be funny with me and couldn't wait to run quick enough from me. I don't know why and the chats we have, have got less.And if I don't hear back from her I'll never get to find out, and this is what's bothering me, while I'm happy she's achieving her dream, I'm the one who suffers at the end of the day.Do you think she will change her mind about me? Should I defriend her? Is she worth it?
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (4 June 2016):
 It sounds like you are having a really tough time. I can empathize because I was in the same situation when I was your age. The one thing that saved me from falling into a deep depression is that I got out of that situation and moved out on my own. The apartment I moved to was not the greatest, but I kept costs down by sharing living space and most bills with a friend. Our apartment was barely furnished. It just had a few essentials: A second hand table, a mattress and a couple of used chairs. It was hard at first, but after a few months of being away from a toxic environment, I began to feel uplifted, alive and I saw so much potential around me. Sure I was working two minimum wage jobs to make ends meet, and I had very few possessions, but I had my freedom and my state of mind improved. Maybe your friend did the same thing. She escaped by going to another country to volunteer. You should seriously start thinking of leaving home and venturing out on your own if you want to escape the misery. You can't fix your parents' problem. You have to fix your own. When you find your freedom and independence, you can always visit them when you can and help them out when you can. For now though, you have to help yourself. I hope you find the courage to take that first step to freedom.
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