A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I met a lovely guy when i went on holiday. I didnt really get to know him that well till towards the end of the holiday. We have since been txting a lot. He was a barman when i met him but he now HAS to serve his time in the army. He wants me to go and spend a week with him when he has completed his 9 months. I dont know whether to go out there i want to i just feel its a big step to go all that way on my own. Im trying to get a friend to come with me. The other thing is i want to be with him but i am inexperienced and worry he will have high expectations.My friend has asked me not to go as she thinks i dont know him well enough and thinks im putting myself in a dangerous position but he is all i ever think about.What would your advice to me be?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): You don't really know him well at all. There's no way you could, in such a short amount of time.
I would listen to your friend and NOT go to visit him. He may well BE a "lovely guy" BUT you really don't have enough evidence to make that conclusion. People can put up a good front - good enough to fool you - when they want to. I think you need to look out for your safety.
Why not ask him to come visit YOU? Let him do that, and meet your family and friends. That would be much less risky (though you still need to exercise caution and not go off anywhere unknown with him). If he is willing to come see you, all well and good. If not, my advice would be to forget him.
P.S. If he wants you to pay his way to travel to where you are, then - its a no go situation.
A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (4 September 2007):
Follow your heart! if its meant to be you will know.If your friend is worried ask her to go with you!You say you are inexperienced im guessing you mean you havent has a sexual relationship?Just be aware and make sure that he doesnt expect too much anything you do has to be in your own time when you feel ready!
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