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My friend had sex with my crush! How should I react now?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 August 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 August 2008)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

You seriously won't believe this :

In the past few weeks i was getting quite close to this guy, lets call him "Bob". I say quite close because the 'closest' we ever got was a kiss -but for me that is really intimate, because i'm a little bit gawky and terrified of sex. I thought i was one step away from being called his girlfriend. Anyway, i have this other friend "Mary" who is really hot. All the boys drawl over her. She is also really good friends with Bob - actually he used to be her boyfriend, but that was like a year ago! She told me that she was ready to lose her virginity (you should have seen the look on my face :0). I didn't ask who with or anything, i just told her to use a condom. So i left it and when to Bristol for a week. When i came back i get a text from Mary saying she had sex with Bob...

OMFG!

I haven't cried or anything - i'm still in total shock!

WHAT THE HELL?!

PS: We are all 14-years-old.

Mary new i had a crush on Bob but i told her it was nothing serious (that was before i kissed him)

how should i react now?

View related questions: condom, crush, text

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A female reader, ItsEmma United States +, writes (29 August 2008):

ItsEmma agony auntNumber one, Mary isn't your friend and you can't trust her. I would say just cut her out of your life altogether. It might be hard at first, I wouldn't know becuase I'm not in your position, but you'll be glad you did later on.

And Bob dosen't deserve a second chance, if that's what you were thinking. He's slimy and horrible. You deserve better than that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008):

I think you should go online to some website and ask a bunch of faceless strangers how to cope with a lack of intimacy.

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A female reader, scrazy Canada +, writes (29 August 2008):

scrazy agony auntDitch both Mary and Bob. Mary isn't a good friend because she slept with your crush (even though, she's so hot, apparently, she could have any other guy) and Bob is just a jerk for kissing you and then having sex with your friend.

Your best bet is to move on from the both of them, so you can make some real friends and find a guy who isn't going to pull stunts like this.

XO

-scrazy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008):

I'm so so sorry - that's an awful thing to happen! Try talking to Mary about it and see how she responds - understandably she was probably unaware that your feelings for Bob had grown more serious. Still, it was very insensitive and she should really have consulted you before hand. Do see how she reacts, she may apoligise, and it is definately not worth losing a close girlfriend over the silly, incomprehensible male species! Also consider the situation from her point of view. It is possible she is confused about her own feelings and she had never got over Bob from when they were seeing eachother, so she may infact be jealous of YOU.

I totally understand how you feel, it is difficult to be in a situation where you feel strongly for somebody but are not officially 'with' them, yes, it is very difficult!

I would also try talking to Bob about his viewpoint on your relationship. Is he as serious about it as you are?

You may feel that Bob's feelings for Mary are more serious because they are sexually intimate, but it is quite possible this isn't the case. If you are taking your relationship with Bob slowly that is equally (if not more) important, try spending time together so that you can both express your feelings, and don't feel pressured to do anything you aren't emotionally ready for!

Also, you are definately NOT gawky, you are an extremely intelligent, sensible young women!

x

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A female reader, superrrshawna United States +, writes (29 August 2008):

superrrshawna agony auntmary is NOT a good friend, and you should now forget about bob because he is a scumbag for kissing you and then having sex with your friend!

but smile, because now you know you have the opportunity to make a better friend and meet a better guy. =]

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