A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My friend is dating a guy and they just had a baby a couple weeks ago. He cheated on her with her "best friend" last summer, they were all drinking at her house, and her 6 year old daughter woke her up and asked why was Jeremy and laci naked ? So my friend got up and saw them sleeping on the couch butt naked on top of eachother. Her "friend" to this day denies it, and her boyfriend claims he doesn't remember. Well, my friend's b.f. also has a huge porn addiction. He doesn't want to have sex w/ her but he'll wack it to porn instead. Even if she offers him a blow job he will blow her off and go wack to porn instead. He also like butt toys. Anyways my friend told me a couple days sgo that she was cleaning and found a condom wrapper under the couch, and that they had gotten the couch recently so it's not an old one. The expiration date on it is 2011. So it's recent. She told me that when she was in the hospital he asked her if he could go home for the night, and she said no (she doesn't trust him) but he left for a few hours. She mentioned that when I went to visit her in the hospital that he left and was gone for a long time. I just don't understand why she doesn't believe that he did it..at first she did and said she thinks he cheated while she was in the hospital. Now she says she doesn't think he did it b/c he told her he was very hurt that she'd think he would do that while she was in the hospital. They don't use condoms, so what else could it be from? And she said that they haven't had anyone over for the night that could have done it. She is going to get on xanax today for anxiety and depression. But I think she should just leave him. Does it sound like she is in denial?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): Ok, anon male, he has never "wacked it" wearing a condom. If that were the case, it'd be one of their condoms and she said it wasn't. Plus if he did that she'd know since she caught him several times.
A
male
reader, Ambivalent_Omar  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 i believe she is in denial, she probably believes it deep down but is scared to fully accept that he cheated, she just had his child right?..
why would anyone give up love-making for 2min porno trial videos??..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): Well maybe he 'wacked' it wearing a condom. Guys do that sometimes..
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A
female
reader, louweez23  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 It sounds to me as though he's cheated on her. However, she should consider her position.
He's now saying he doesn't remember. Therefore, he doesn't want their relationship to end (becasue if he did he'd be more than happy to admit to it and end it).
To me it sounds like he is having a hard time coming to terms with the responsibility of being a father and being in a committed relationship. Was this a planned pregnancy?
What should she do. Confront him. Tell him quite clearly that she doesn't believe that he hasn't cheated. Tell him that she isn't happy with him rejecting her in bed and that she wants to go to relationship counselling.
Ultimately it may be that they split (nobody likes to be made a fool of), however as there is now a child involved your friend cannot afford to be so cavalier about throwing away this relationship without giving it every attempt to work. Her child deserves both a father and a mother bringing him up, and if he is a good man in every other way then she owes it to her son to try to sort the problems out that caused him to cheat in the first place.
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