A
female
age
36-40,
*Lindy87
writes:I've come to a conclusion that my friend doesn't take me seriously. we've been friends since we were 6, we are both 22 now. right now in my life I'm in college at an art school, doing p90x (an extreme workout video) and haven't been sleeping around for the past 6 months. she said it doesn't matter that I've been abstinent this long because out of the five years I've been sexual, it isn't much. this made me realize she has been holding my love life against me and basically thinks I'm a slut. (granted, I have had my one night stands, flings, etc...but so has she for the record)We had this huge fight with me leaving the place we were at, the fight meant something to me because she hurt me when she sat there telling me all her opinions and judgments about my life (no she wasn't trying to be a concerned friend, because there really isn't anything to be concerned about presently) I sat there for a good ten minutes while she insulted me, basically wanting to win the fight without a real point besides "once a slut, always a slut"I was hanging out with her sister yesterday at her place (they live together) and she came in acting as if we never stopped speaking. Her sister said she never mentioned anything to her either about our fight. I'm thinking she didn't even care that I was hurt, even after I told her. Her response was "whatever" and she let it roll off her back. we did talk a little bit and I told her I wouldn't tell her about my love life because she finds it annoying (quote from her) and in turn I wanted her to stop judging me, but her response was "I can judge you all I want".Everyone I talked to have said that I should cut my losses and not be friends with her, but we've been friends for 17 years....that's a long time and damn hard to drop someone like that. Plus, i'm good friends with her sister and they live together, makes it more tricky:/
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female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (1 September 2010):
LLindy87 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thats interesting that you mention you say that about girls you can't stand because when we were arguing that night I noticed she was talking about me in the tone she talks about people she hates and called her out on it.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (31 August 2010):
 Trust me it's hard to throw away the time you have invested in a friendship..but if she's turned jealous and keeps making you feel bad about yourself, calling you a slut (that's what I say about girls I can't stand) then she is not the friend you thought she was. It just blows my mind how they can turn on you so quickly like your friendship meant nothing, when all this time you have valued and treasured it. However, it's their own fault..you are a great friend indeed.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (31 August 2010):
LLindy87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontennistarr88, thank you so much for your response, it helps out a lot.
Its been bugging me for awhile and it does suck to have a person in your life who is only friends with you for themselves.
I never really considered her to be jealous of me though, a few other people mentioned that too. I wish jealousy didn't exist, she got like this before when she was dating someone else and it seems to be around the point where she gets bored in her relationship that she gets controlling on my love life. its very frustrating.
But everyone is right, I need to cut my losses. I've only had to do that to one other friend and it was extremely hard to do then as well, but ultimately the right choice for me. I hope that is not selfish, but I guess there has to be a balance between selflessness and selfishness.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (30 August 2010):
You know who is she to judge you on life? She is not God. I understand she is your best friend but your best friend doesn't insult you and call you a slut, your best friend never, ever judges you in any way. Sounds like she's jealous of you. I'll tell you I had to end my friendship with my best friend for 9 years she was going behind my back and telling my ex fiance bad things about me how he shouldn't marry me, I wasn't good for him..All this time she's had a thing for him. That's a friendship deal breaker. Now, do you really want to be friends with someone who is going to insult and judge you again? Friendships do come and go, there will be a new best friend to come along and replace her one ten times better at that. Listen to everyone else and cut ties with her, maybe she'll come to her senses and apologize. When you hang out with her sister ignore her like she doesn't exist.
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