A
female
age
41-50,
*Daisyx
writes:Hi, i am just looking for some opinions on the following. I am married, age 30, 2 kids ages 4 and 5. My friend who has travelled alot has asked me if i would like to go on a 12 week round the world trip in march. My kids will be 5 and 6 then and both in full time school. I am rather tempted to go but am i being selfish. I think my husband is more than capable of coping without me and everything would be fine. Obviously the kids would miss me and i them but its only 12 weeks maybe even 8. I would like to know what you guys think negative or positive to help me make a decision. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dreaming  +, writes (10 July 2008):
I think you read all the advice and agreed that 12 weeks is too long. Good decision. Your role as a mom and wife comes first. A short trip is different than 12 weeks especially non work related.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): Why put small kids at that age through the trauma if it is not necessary? Can any holiday compensate for what they will suffer and the fear and anxiety that they will be living with?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 July 2008):
I do not have kids so I know nothing about the trauma of leaving them. But I do see a lot of the advice given to the guys and girls in the army when they go away and leave their kid of 6 months.
12 weeks is not forever. If you were a man and talking about this then everyone would be saying "yeah if your wife is ok with it then go!!"
Here is the homecoming advice given to returning parents in the army:
kids ages 3-5
Children this age think the world revolves around them. Keeping that in mind it is not surprising that your child may think they somehow made their parent go away because of something they did, or that their parent does not love them. If this is the case with your child they may feel guilty or abandoned. As a result your child may express intense anger as a way of keeping a returning parent at a distance, thereby protecting themselves from further disappointment. Your child is likely to do some form of limit testing to see if the rules applied during the parent's absence still apply now they are back.
I would say it is up to you. If you feel this is something you need to do to feel fulfilled then go for it. You can pass on all that you've learned to your kids when you return. However, if it is not the chance of a life time and your friend is probably going to do this again in the next 5 years, then you might want to wait till next time.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): You will be very wise and will not regret to stay with your children; they are still very young; they need there mother; such a long time away might create insecurities within them; they cannot express there feeligs and it will be manifested in there behaviour;
you will not regret putting your kids first;
I think you should give your husband an extra hug for being so understanding and for having given you the opportunity to make this choice on your own.
Best wishes
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A
female
reader, xDaisyx +, writes (9 July 2008):
xDaisyx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thanks for your answers. I think your all right it is a long time. My husband is fine with it by the way, but it is a long time to go for. I may just meet with her somewhere for a week or 2. that sounds more reasonable
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 have you talked to your husband about this? wat does he think?
while 3 months is a long time, technology these days is a wonder for keeping up with family while travelling through webcams, video diaries, email, skype etc etc. talk to you husband about it.
my opinion is, you may never get an opportunity like this again so you may as well grab it while you can. your still young and deserve to see the world!!
like i said, talk to your husband, he may well be able to take care of the kids on his own, but would he want to?
i really hope it works out and you enjoy yourself!!
email me if you want. id love to hear wat the itinerary is!
xxx
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (9 July 2008):
 I think it has to be your decision. I personally couldnt leave my little one for that long but he is only 3 and a half. 12 weeks is a long time for young children.
You say your husband is capable of coping but how does he feel about this?
I understand you have to live your life but I am going to say yes its selfish to want to go for that length of time if you want me to be perfectly honest.
I feel selfish as we are going away next week without the kids and I feel guilty about one week!! We didnt plan it however, my parents are taking the kids away so we thought it was stupid to sit at home all by ourselves so booked a holiday abroad. They are gong to Centre Parcs!
How about a nice family holiday for 4 instead, or see if you can get a grandparent to have the kids while you have a week together somewhere x
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