A
female
age
51-59,
*b4
writes:im a black 40 year old woman whose in love with my 41 year old best friend whose white we get alone great our time together is so deep she say she have feelins for me and she knows how i feel about her we been friends for about 5 months and i love her so much even though i live with my boyfriend three 3wks ago her husband call her out the blue and told her he still loves her and want back in she told me she is confused and she love him an want to try and make her marriage work i told her i want her to b happy she took him back but then she tell me if it doesnt work out she wants to start a relationship with me now she says he back to his controlling ways and she left him for domestic abuse and she left him for a year now she back n the same situation she also told him about me and my feelings 4 her and now hes in her house controlling her and our friendship he doesnt want u to b friends i pray to god 4 her to have strength and get that jerk out her house what else can i do i see it in her eyes how shes about me and i love her and mant to spend my life with her please give me some advice
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female
reader, cb4 +, writes (29 February 2012):
cb4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u mandy i am going to b there for her because i love her and she knows that wen we text he always watching her phone and wants her to change her number all the time twice in two weeks i dont bother her i jus let her contact me but its hard because i think she is my soulmate but im being patient and understanding that if we arent meant to be i still want to have her as my best friend and i wish she hadnt told her husband about my feelings for her and her feelings for me at this time but im going to continue to pray that god give her strength to get him out her life for good because he is terrible i will b there for her and theres nothing in this world i wouldnt do for her but im hurting because she said no one would come between us and she letting him and i have been in her life for these past 4/5 months but im trying to b strong and patient
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (29 February 2012):
 The Only way she can do it is by just telling him its over, and if he wont leave call the police and get a restraining order. But is going to want to have to do this for herself, not for anyone else, not for you , but for her. Any pressure form anyone else at this stage will prolong her illness. She is clinically depressed, so very very fragile right now. She cant be expected to juggle her BF/ health/and sexual status on top of this. Just continue to be there for HER, if he is stopping her from contacting you be patient, let her know whenever she is ready your going to be there for her.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, cb4 +, writes (29 February 2012):
cb4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim trying to be there because she has been in an out of mental hospital and she has major depression but her medicine works good for her and i dont want her to go into another depression they been apart for a year and now.He's controlling her life all over again He is just 25 years old and she is 41. Heis so inmature he doesnt want us to be friends ive been there for her and i cant believe she is allowing this when she said he wants to come between us He has no job I want my friend back Hes only been back in her home three weeks and controls her every move how can she get him out her life
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (28 February 2012):
Then the best you can do right now is remain her best friend, be there for her when things are looking bad, let her know she has a shoulder to lean on. Just no pressure, cause this must be all very confusing and hard for her right now.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, cb4 +, writes (28 February 2012):
cb4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks it was helpful and i will wait for her because she still my best friend and i still love her at this time she says she want out but dont no how right now
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (28 February 2012):
HI
I think you should let her try to work out her marriage, unfortunately many women go through this kind of abusive relationship, and are affraid to move on. She may very well have feelings for you, but I doubt they are the same as what you feel for her. Unless she finds the strength to leave this horrid man you dont have a chance. I suggest you try to move on, because if you hang around it could make things worse for her. If she does have the same feelings for you, then you will have to wait for her untill she is ready, can you do that? can you stay away and wait? it could be a year, two or even ten. are you prepared to put your life on hold? it must be very hard for you given the way you feel, but you should be with someone who can give you the love you need, and be sharing happy times together.
Mandy x
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