A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love this girl. shes my age. we've been studying together from kindergarten. i have already told her how much i love her.a friend of mine knew how i felt towards her. so he was always asking me question whether if i've asked her or not. like he was supportive towards my relation with her.this was about 4 to 5 months back. now the problem is that he likes her too. so the first thing he does is tell every one that there is something going on between them.she heard about this and was very upset. she didn't talk to him for quite some days saying to me that she'll never see his face again. but he somehow managed to convince her that there was nothing between him and her.but he like her, she knows that, and i don't know how she trusts him. she knows how much i love her, she says that maybe she can't see me with someone else, but she has still not answered my " i love you ", which i had said 2 months back. she asks me to forget her. to go to someone else,cause she thinks her quietness hurts me. but that seems totally impossible to me. i can't understand if she likes me than why doesn't she say it or if she doesn't than also.i don't talk to the guy now cause the way he behaved went over my head. how do i convince her to say something. and how do i get that guy out, cause his repeated proposals or whatever he is doing is the reason according to me which is taking her away from me. she considers him a friend, that to a good one and thinks that his liking is genuine. but i know the truth. i need some help on how to handle this..please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx for your reply..i'd like to add more to my situation..so i asked her about this " like someone who desrves you" thing she said to me. she said that she does not want to hurt me or loose me. she says she wants more time to think, cause once she decides about the right guy that would be her final desision like forever.. and as for the mysterious guy thing, im the most mysterious one there can be at school. i dont talk to much, i keep to myself most of the time. and i told her about my feeling after about 2 and half year of keeping. so i've obviously not rushed. and we talk normally. i flirt at times. sometimes on the mobile and she takes it positively and gets involved. i obviously can't live without thinking about her.. so my main question would be.. when a girl says WAIT neither a yes neither a no.. and i feel she like me somewhere cause she says that she feels special that i love her.. so am i to expect that our relationship will work out..even if it takes i dont know how much time.?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): First of all this friend is not a good friend, but it happens all the time. It happened to me before, my friend didn't like this guy until found out how much i liked him. They prob think oh if this person is liked by someone else they must be worth attention. By sharing with him how much you liked her you just made him become interested, just keep things like that to yourself or tell your sister or mother. But it's not your fault, you didn't know he wasn't a genuine friend. you are right, you don't need him in your life.
About a girl.. from my experience i can tell you for sure, if you tell a girl you love her and she feels the same she will definitely tell you cause she'd be afraid to lose you, but now she's telling you go and be with someone else, cause she's not sure, but the truth is she doesn't feel the same and you shouldn't waste your time. try to get involved in different activities and meet other girls and friends.
I'm gonna tell you a golden rule about girls. They don't like guys who are too open at the beginning, who talk about their feelings straight away, it pushes them away. They like someone mysterious, who shows some interest, but sometimes doesn't. They don't want something that's too easy and right here, they want games..I don't like that it's like that, but it's the truth. The sooner you start being a bit colder and keep your feelings to yourself until you clearly see and know that a girl is crazy about you.
What you should do now is don't bother her anymore, try to avoid her but don't be rude, be polite, sweet but cold at the same time. Make her think that you don't care about her that much. Then she'll think..hmm what's wrong with him, maybe this will help her miss you and realise she likes you.
If this doesn't work, this means she has no feelings for you and just likes you as a friend, as is being quiet just because she doesn't want to hurt you.
Just remember, the more you show your feelings the further away from you she'll go, and it might even push her into that guys arms, cause he seems to be playing some kind of game.
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