A
female
age
30-35,
*oyofmydreamsdoesntknow09
writes:hi. I need helping trying to figure out what to do.I like this guy and I have since 7th grade. But My friend who i hated in seventh grade but now were really close also likes him. And asked him out knowing that i love him alot! well him and I had a thing going on at the homecoming dirty dancing and crap and holding hands and then we went back to school acting as though nothing happened. and I cant decide if I should give up or not. But I try to give up but he keeps pulling me back to him and i CANT stop thinking about him non stop. What should I do?? Any advice..?Tanie Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (18 October 2007):
If she asked him out knowing you wanted him, I say the game is on and you need to compete. He'll love all the attention of two girls. Every guy's fantasy.
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (18 October 2007):
 Oops! I meant to write "But in all fairness, if she didn't think you were going to get together with him and try to start a relationship, why wouldn't that leave him open to starting a relationship with *her*?"
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (18 October 2007):
Hi there,
When you say that your friend asked him out, does that mean that they are now in an exclusive relationship with one another? If they are, then you should probably try and find someone else. Do you really want to be known as someone who steals boyfriends - especially away from her friends? Not really a good reputation you'd have for yourself, eh?
Also, when she asked him out, you say that she knew you liked him, too. Did you tell her that you were not going to make any moves on him? I'm just wondering why she decided to ask him out. If she thought there was no problem, then perhaps you should have been a little more clear with her about your feelings: that you didn't want her to be with him.
But in all fairness, if she didn't think you were going to get together with him and try to start a relationship, why wouldn't that leave him open to starting a relationship with you?
When I was your age, if my friends and I liked the same guy then we were happy if each other got with him. We cared more about each other than we did about some boy. We were just happy that one of us got to be with someone who we thought was a good guy. Have you tried to look at it this way?
Also, why didn't you approach him sooner than after your friend made moves on him if you liked him for so long. Perhaps you knew that he was really not the kind of guy you should be with?
If this really bothers you, you need to talk with your friend. Tell her what's on your mind and that it's making you feel bad, awkward and upset (I'm only assuming that it'd feel awkward to want your friend's guy. Point is just tell her how you feel). Real friends will not let boy problems get in the way of friendships - whether that means you talk things through or she breaks up with him. Something needs to be done so that you don't remain upset.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): hi
if you go for this lad your friend will probably never talk to you again, on the other hand if you dont go for it she probably will!!then you really will be heartbroken wont you?
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