A
male
age
36-40,
*eTo
writes:Hey, I know people post the same thing over and over again. But I started panicking yesterday and feel like **** ever since.I meet this girl and we used each other to get rid of the "stigma" (please not hate, I came to believe it was keeping me from getting into relationships) of being a virgin. I am 25 y/o she is 19. We only knew us for a couple of days and it was a kind of shortterm descicion.We got together and bought condoms and lubrication in the CVS and then started to play. It took forever to penetrate her and I was only able to do it once, even entering was painfull for her. I think she might have vaginasmus or some other muscle contraction. I came and had to roll down and started cuddeling.I still had the condom on and I turned lying next to her in a way my penis showed away from her. She got on me and rubbed her genitals agains my hipps till she came. I later saw that my peinis was so small that the condom slippd of itself and was lying under me I think. So I got up and washed my genital area with water and dried it with a towel. This was my first msitake, I am afraid there was any way she could have gotten sperm on her vagina.Afterwards we cuddled more and I fingered her a little, changing positions of cuddeling, while having no condom on. my penis was not stiff and I never thought about it. This was my second mistake I think. I can't remember touching her genitals with my in any way, since she is way smaller but on my height head on head while cuddeling.I was also afraid there was any way of still having sperm on my finger while fingering her.I started panicking the night, and made myself sure if there was any way, my bad luck would sure make it a big risk. The thing is she got her period and it was the second to last day of bleeding. So I shoudl not worry to much.But I sent her money to buy the pill after (Phase B) and she will buy it tomorrow. So it has been 40-48 h since we had sex.Do you think I am crazy? I tried to be considerate but I was a vigin too and so I feel like I faild and never want to have sex again in my life.....?Thanks!
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condom, fingering, money, muscle, my penis, period, sperm, the pill, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, meTo +, writes (27 November 2009):
meTo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, thank you for making me feel better.
As I said I just wanted to get over it. I am big romantic and handsome looking (told by several girls now) I never have been in a relationsship and that started to become a psychologial problem for me. I ahve so much to give. I seriously started dating women this year, first kiss, sex, dating all at the age of 25. I feel stupid but that is the way it is.
I probably panicked so much because that girl did know her own body so poorly that it ws scary a bit. I worried for both of us, because I never want to have child with somebody I do not love.
I know way more about the female body now, probably more than most woman and I am sure I will feel better next time.
She took the pill (I paid it all, but I felt it was my responisbility, even though it should be both our responsibility) and I feel way better now. There should not be a chance at all....
I feel stupid, in 2 h a girl I like will come over and I cook for her, we are not commited, not even have kissed each other. As stupid as it sounds I kind of did all this for her ,too. So my insecurity will not scare her away.....
Things I learned:
Try to protect with two ways: for ex. condoms and bc pill
After you came: get up , get the condom off and clean yourself, then go back and cuddle. Preferably with some underpants. If not put a condom on.
Maybe some otehr people comment to.. I would love to hear what they say.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009): You did good by making her take the morning after pill, and what a gentleman to help pay for it! Those pills are expensive (at least here they are). Anyway, you said you washed off right? Then no you wouldn't get sperm on her afterwards, because you washed your hands and penis. About the condom sliding off, yes that is not good. Chances are small you would make her pregnant from that, as you weren't penetrating her, but there is always that tiny tiny risk. Best is to use protection. But, if your genitals have touched hers without the condom on, you would get STD's. Now, even virgins can have them, not all STD's transfer just from sex, for example Hepatitis B transfer though blood as well, so if she or you at one point got infected with the virus, you could easily pass it on. Other STD's are possible for virgins to have too, so read up on that, and I hope you asked her beforehand, and have had yourself checked.
Little chance of pregnancy though. And nonexistent if she gets the morning after pill. And people might jump at me now saying there's ALWAYS a chance, but, if she does end up pregnant after all of that I would blame God and not the two of you.
On the side note: always be prepared for pregnancies. Sex was meant to make babies. Not saying you should expect them, but giving it a thought (like you now have) is always good and shows responsibility.
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