A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About a year and a half ago i started seeing a guy who turned into my first love. I was very inexperienced and everything was new to me. I know everybody says this, but it really did seem just perfect. we saw each for about 8 months, but broke up because he was graduating uni at the end of the year (a year older than me)and going to work abroad so didn't feel ready for a long distance relationship.this broke my heart because i fell for him straight away. after he left, he said he liked me more than any other girl he had been with, that he missed me, that he was unlikely to find anyone else because of the nature of his job, and we still talked on the phone every day- and yet he didnt change his mind. Eventually, i asked him what was going on, if we were being practical in talking every day and he said he thought everything was clear, what else could we be, if it was hard for ME we could talk less. I said we could be friends but pretty much since then i have tried occasionally to keep in touch but he rarely responds. The last time i saw him was a couple of months ago when he visited the uni. He kind of avoided me but then texted me in the middle of the night asking if i was out, if i was ok and that he was sorry he hadnt spoken to me. For a while i thought i was getting over him but suddenly out of the blue my feelings are coming back. I think what makes it so hard to forget is the fact that it didn;t end between us because it lacked the feeling or the chemistry or anything like that, it was just the circumstances. part of me wants to be happy without him, but the other part worries that he was the one for me and i'll never find anyone better. I hate feeling this way because i know its silly, and irrational. I dont want to hurt when he finds someone else. and i dont want to be unable to find anyone else myself. but How can you get over someone when it didnt end because you stopped loving each other? how can you ever stop feeling like they are the right person? even fi they dont feel that way about you..
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broke up, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (15 May 2012):
 The answer to your question is:
Some Time Apart
&
Doing things you enjoy and taking your mind off this other person.
This is ways which you can heal.
Its not easy to get over and mend a heart.
However we can accept it has happened and resolve to move on.
We may love someone forever, however there are ways to *heal* and move on from a relationship.
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