A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my boyfriend for a couple of months now, I'm 19 and he is 21. he is my first love and i really care about him, he says he loves me and i trust him and i hope we will be together for a long time. however there is one issue that brings me to tears every time i think about it - his ex. they never properly went out they were just seeing each other for a couple of months last year - they never slept together, and she treated him like shit and she was the one that ended it. but i know he told he loved her, and she goes to my uni and i see her all the time and i'm a hypocrite cos half of me hates the fact she treated him like shit - as in, who does she think she is? - but the other half hates the fact he said he loved her. i know he hates her now since they ended things but i just cant get over it - he is the first boy i have said i love you to and i dont feel special i just feel like he would say it to anyone :-i brought this up with him and he says he loves me and i have to trust him, and i do, the problem is with me not him. please help am i right or am i being over the top?
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female
reader, loveprincess +, writes (16 March 2009):
 its hes past at the time he said he loved her was because he had not meet we you yet
he is not inlove with her hes in love with you
what he said is hes past he can't change that what matters is that he is with you now and that he loves you not her not abyone else
i hope this helped
Gabriella
x
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 March 2009):
 I'm sorry to say this, but it's unrealistic to expect a person you love to never ever have fallen in love with anyone else. First of all, because there is no reason for that: the person you love now was living his/her life, and there was no reason why s/he should save herself or himself specially for you. So, my first advice would be for you to accept things as they are. He loved someone else before, all right, but now he doesn't love her, and he loves you. This shouldn't be a problem.
Sometimes, we feel that people who never had sex before or never fell in love before are "pure" and they have like a seal of purity that will assure us we will never ever lose that person, or we will never ever be cheated on. That is a wrong expectation, wrong in the sense that it is based on false assumptions.
Dear poster, don't hurt yourself over things that are not important. He loves you, and he is there for you. That is what matters.
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A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (13 March 2009):
 It's OK to hate that he wasted those words on someone so unworthy of them, but you have to understand that it was before you. You need to get over his past if it didn't involve you at all. I'm sure if he could have seen the future, he never would have told her he loved her, and he very well would have waiting for you.
Really, you should be glad that she didn't scare him out of love. Sometimes when people get burned in a relationship, they stop paying attention to their feelings and bottle them up. Thankfully, he wasn't afraid to love again, and now he loves you.
He doesn't love her anymore, he is just as upset as you are that she did those things to him. He can never take back what he said, no matter who it was to. But he has moved on, and you need to as well.
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