A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is my first ever relationship and I have been hurt. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 months. I fell in love with him. He was exactly what I wanted down to the T. He said he loved me and we would be together. He never cheated nor did me wrong. He was perfect. The only thing that was wrong with out relationship was the location. We only lived like 55 minutes away. He worked a lot and went to school and so did it. But we said from the get go that it would still be ok. We were doing great. I loved him so much. I thought he would be my first and last. Until yesterday I got a phone call and he said he wanted to be just friends. I felt sick like I was dying. I couldnt believe he said that. I was the best boyfriend and I don't get it. He said he loved everything about me. I never changed. He said that he has a lot going on and that he found a lump on him and he's scared. He said it would be less stress and better for the both of us if we was just friends. I told him I didn't care and that I love him and that I wanna be with him no matter what. This has really hurt me. I loved him so much. I can't deal. He won't let me come see him. I never knew we're he lived. Idk what to do. I wanna be mad but I love him. Idk what to do. How can I deal with this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2012): I think you fell in love with him too quick. I was always doing that but it frightened them off- I expect he does love you and wants to be friends but he doesnt want to be tied down-most men like playing the field until they are ready and not before.
If you back off the chances are he might come back because he misses you-try and find someone else then see if he gets jealous and he might want you back!!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2012): Love first love, it is the most intense feeling you feel your ever going to feel. Some people that is true but for most it is just a stage for better things to come. You suddenly learn to care about somebody more then yourself and it can hurt. Its your feelings learning and we are all excited about about learning something new only this is intense. It is a lesson we never forget though and it makes it special. People always remember their first love, some laugh and some cry but most would never give up what they have now in the present for a memory. First love is part of growing up and developing, sorry but it hurts like crazy.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 October 2012):
 I know how horrible you must feel at the moment, it is always hard losing your first love, but believe me it will get better in time. It sounds like you both had a great relationship, he says he found a lump which has scared him, and off course it would scare many people finding something like this, so maybe he has shut himself off and decided he wants to be on his own to deal with this, and yes it is hard on you. My only suggestion here would be to try and get him to meet with you so that you can get closure on the relationship and then you can move forward.
In time you will feel much better as long as you distance yourself from your ex and keep busy. Yes I am sure you must be feeling very hurt and confused at the moment, especially considering he broke up with you over the phone, so again suggest to him for the both of you to meet up for a chat and talk to him and ask any questions that you need to so you can try and understand more.
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