A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i really need some advice.i broke up with my fiance after 7 years last year. he left me on the verge of bankruptcy and didnt care. i was left with all the debt -55,000now im at home living at my mums due to me having to do an iva. im so depressed-i was having a terrible time mentally last year because of this last after everything but ive got through that. my mum has little money and the flat we share is bad-some rooms have bare floors. the walls are in an awful state and need re-plastering but i have no spare money-it would cost thousands to fix. at the moment after paying my iva and rent im left with 350. i cant even afford to rent a flat. what shall i do-this is so bad :(
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bankrupt, broke up, debt, depressed, fiance, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): Hi There,
I've been in a similar position myself. I'd recommend going onto www.iva.co.uk its a site that helps people in debt. They've got some really friendly advisors and the forum is the largest in the UK (I think), everyone is in the same boat so you just talk to people thats gone through it themselves...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): If you haven't already, get some free debt advice from a good source - try the Consumer Credit Counselling Service (http://www.cccs.co.uk) they're free for you (they make their money by charging the people you owe money to) and they can tell you if you have to pay back all the debt. Your creditors have to leave you with a reasonable amount of money each month, and I think it's more than £350. It might be that you'd be better off going bankrupt and starting again.
But please please please get some good free advice - not from one of the dodgy shark companies who just take your money and don't pay off your debts. If you don't want to call CCCS try your local Citizens Advice Bureau (http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/) they're a charity and they won't charge you, but will give you good advice.
Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): hey guys i am soo grateful for your help-im already in a debt programme but its the other stuff thats getting me down
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (13 May 2010):
 I think you have to stay where you are for now and be thankful for having a roof over your head. I think you need professional help to deal with your debt, and not from one of those parasitic private sector debt-relief companies that advertise everywhere. You could try the citizens advice as already advised, or call the consumer credit counselling charity or the debt advice charity for further help. Their contact details can be obtained through google. If your mother has been living in her flat for a while and she owns it then she may qualify for renovation grants if she has a low income (ask at your local council). If she rents then you can seek advice from the private sector department at the local council as they have powers to make landlords bring accommodation up to a good standard. You could also look at warm front who arrange insulation and central heating for low income households. If you wanted to decorate yourself you will be surprised what you will find being offered for free on these recycle groups (see the freecycle network by googling it). You could ask for paint, carpet tiles etc and you never know what someone might have stacked up in their shed ready to give away.
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A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 Sorry you have to go through this, it is hard but you have your moms help and support treasure that. Be happy you have a roof over your head and I totally agree with Brooklyn girl re-arrange your life and shop at discount stores, buy generic stuff and don't be embarrassed to ask for help try your church. You will get through this and I wish you the best and please don't take that fiance back if he came crawling asking for forgiveness say no no no!
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (13 May 2010):
 I know your situation well! I have lived it for the past three years! I had to file for bankruptcy also. I am still paying off depts that could not be included.
All you can do is the best you can do! I know that sounds weird, but it's what I have had to do.
I have gone to second hand stores and purchased pictures to hide the flaws on my walls...also carpeting for the bedroom...and anything else I can find to make my home "cheery"
I have to look at it as...at least I have a roof over my head!!
It does get better!! Don't get discouraged!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 May 2010):
Hi there. I'm sorry you've been left in this mess. I think you need to know where you stand about the debt, and I think you need to know about what you can claim an such.
Go to this site.
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
find out where your nearest office is and make an appointment. They offer FREE advice, and may be able to suggest ways of dealing with the debts and anything you might be able to claim.
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