A
female
age
30-35,
*araluna08
writes: Hi, My fiance and I have been together for almost a year now and have a great relationship. At the beginning though, his ex wife made things very difficult for us because she was stuck on getting him back. What made things even more difficult though, was his brothers wife who teamed up with his ex wife to slander me on facebook and spread awful rumors about me. I live in latin america and when someone spreads a rumor about you here, everybody finds out. Things became so bad that I had to return to the United States for three months to let things cool off before going back and getting my life on track again. The facebook drama continued but only on my fiances sister in laws side. His ex wife is no longer a problem but everytime that I see his sister in law I want to kill her. She is very difficult and his brother is very protective of her even though she has done similar things to my fiances entire family. I just HATE her and cant forgive her. But now it seems like everyone wants to be a happy family again and wants to just ignore her but I cant and it is causing A LOT of fighting between me and my fiance. Now i am the bad one because i dont want to spend time with my fiance and his brother and monster woman, but she hurt me deeply and this is all to soon. I had to move to a different country because of the things that she did. what should i do??? please help me. is things going to be a deal breaker?????
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ex-wife, facebook, fiance, his ex, sister in law Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, caraluna08 +, writes (1 November 2010):
caraluna08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to both of you for answering my question. Forgiving people is such a difficult thing. I suppose that for now I can only try to coexist in peace. Thanks again for your advice.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 November 2010):
Okay, it's very tough for some family members to accept a change to the family, especially if the family members were close to the ex. Just because one family members stops loving their spouse doesn't mean it's easy for the rest of the family to do the same thing. Often, we accept an in-law into our hearts as family, and as such, view someone that takes their place as an outsider.
The approach you should take is not to hate her and not forgive her and start fighting with your fiance to turn him against her. You'll lose your fiance that way.
You have to win their hearts like his ex did. You must ignore the sister and find a way to coexist peacefully with her.
If you say "it's either her or me" to your fiance, you will lose.
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