A
male
age
51-59,
*yWife,MyLife
writes:My fiancee's ex cheated on her, drank excessively, and didn't contribute anything to their relationship.I work away from home, by away I mean different country, on a rather regular basis. Now that her ex realizes what he's missing, he wants to be around her. Here's the kicker, he shows up at midnight or later and she lets him in. In all fairness she tells me these things and is not hiding anything so I feel pretty good about that. However, this does not diminish that it does happens. Am I too old fashioned, is this inappropriate? The other aspect of it is that she despises beer and will not even drink with me yet shares a beer or two with him when he's there and I'm not.What the hell? There's more but I digress. I'll see how this Q and A session fares out first.
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fiance, her ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, couldbe  +, writes (3 May 2009):
If she's letting the ex hang around at all,let alone letting him come over at midnight,it's not innocent.If you love someone,you respect them.She is showing you no respect.It seems to me that she isn't sure who she wants.
A
male
reader, MyWife,MyLife +, writes (1 May 2009):
MyWife,MyLife is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your input, it's greatly appreciated that you took the time to answer.
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A
male
reader, kol  +, writes (1 May 2009):
I don't see how you can be comfortable with this.
If she’s broken up with him, why the continued contact. I can’t understand that, its not as if she had a platonic relationship0 with this guy, it was sexual, so why the continued need to see him rather than move on.
She seems to want to have it all. She can’t. Be patient with her, she could outgrow it pretty soon, but if it drags on you might have to take a stand
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A
male
reader, kol +, writes (1 May 2009):
I don't see how you can be comfortable with this.
If she’s broken up with him, why the continued contact. I can’t understand that, its not as if she had a platonic relationship0 with this guy, it was sexual, so why the continued need to see him rather than move on.
She seems to want to have it all. She can’t. Be patient with her, she could outgrow it pretty soon, but if it drags on you might have to take a stand
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): mmmmm i see why you are feeling like this
well first things first, is you have to talk to her about it. dont accuse her or anything, just ask her about him and ask what he wants. and just ask more things but casually.
and no you're not too old fashioned, i would feel like that too if that was me. infact..ive already been through that. obviously not the same with a fiancé as im only 14, lol
xx
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