A
male
 ,
*elboy1681
writes:Dear Cupid I've got a massive problem, my fiancé and I haven't spoke to each for over a month and I also haven't seen my 2 little boys. We have been having problems for a while and as a result I left our family home, we have been trying to sort things out and I thougt that we ere getting somewhere. I've been having health problems as well one of which is I was always depressed and very insecure and I've now become diagnosed with bipolar. I get very angry quite easily and as a result I snaped at my fiancé, I was verbal not physical and told her a few home truths and worst of all I'm ashamed to say it was in front of our 2 sons. I left the house and on my way home I was arrested my fiancé called the police and I was charged with domestic breach of the peace then held over night and then taken to court and given a 6 month good behaviour bond. My solicitor told me that it would be in my best interests not to contact my fiancé myself but to do so through a solicitor as not to get myself into trouble which could effect my bond, which I have done. It's just it's been a month since the solicitor has contacted her and I've heard nothing, I've even tried to contact her myself, I sent her letters telling her that I'm sorry and how much I'm love her and that I want to sort out our problems and try again. It's just that the way I'm feeling with the bipolar I'm really really down all the time and I just can't function properly without my fiancé I just want to make thing better and I'm even considering going to the house to see her and my sons but I'm scared incase she will call the police, it's just that she wont answer any of my calls or txt messages and I'm just at the end of my tether, if I'm being honest I don't care anymore about myself I just care about my family.Please help me!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 Fathers DO have the right to see their childen! You live in the UK where courts protect and respect the rights of children to maintain a relationship with BOTH parents!
If your ex is making an issue out of this, then not only is she way out of line (providing you are not a danger to them) but she is acting with her own emotions rather than what is best for the kids.
You need to see a lawyer and discuss getting a court ordered visitation arrangement. At the moment tho, she is all bluff and has no more right to your joint biological children than yourself.
Do not stand for this! Make sure your children know you have fought to see them, and do not under any circumstances bad mouth their mother to them. This will only backfire on you in the long run.
Kids grow up, get minds of their own, and they will not take kindly to anyone 'attacking' their parents - including their 'other' parent.
Be Mr Nice Guy and let her dig her own grave if she happens to be that way inclined. Hopefully tho, she will see sense and you, her, and your kids can mantain a civil relationship.
Best Wishes!
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 Men co-habiting with someone with whom they have children may get a nasty shock if there is a separation.
Even though you both know that you are the children's biological father, you may have no legal rights whatsoever following a separation.
You will not have the right to have contact with the children, to see them regularly, to have them to stay with you, to take them on holiday and will not be legally entitled to do the things you once took for granted such as going to school parent's evenings, consenting to medical treatment or even signing the forms to allow your 17 year-old to join the Army.
The only way you can see your son is to be on the good side of your ex and make an agreement with her.
It is not good to deny the children the father's love.
reference;-
http://www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/Articles/Unmarried-Couples/Unmarried-fathers-paternity-rights.aspx
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