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male
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anonymous
writes: My fiancee of 1 year is actin very different lately,shes not as loving and affectionate like she used to be when im with her. Even before, she use to ring me during the day when in work and now id barely hear from her. She is behaving different towards me and sometimes even distant and unloving.When I spoke with her about this, she says that shes really busy in work and shes bothered about her weight and how her life is turning out. She certainly doesnt have a weight problem and I keep telling her that and I know she wants to find a better job and im helping her with that too. We stayed away in a hotel for a break recently and she didnt want me near her, touching her or didnt want to make love, so we decided to break up. Then, later on she tells me shes sorry and we make up. The next day its like it never happened. She can sometimes go this way and I dont know if it is normal. I love my fiancee very much and she says that she feels the same about me and we are looking at houses now together, but she can go like this every now and then. When I try to talk to her bout it, she just tells me that I go like this sometimes, its nothing dont worry.Is my fiancee doubting me and a future with me? Does she really love me, even though she says she does, sometimes its like she dont show it. Its sad because we are best friends, lovers and hope to be married soon in the future. I often thought she could be cheating on me with someone else, could this be possible?Any good advice on why a woman would behave in this way would be much appreciated and what can I do or should do that would help matters? Im a very patient man, but theres only so much that one can take. Please help?
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female
reader, Elizabeth01 +, writes (14 July 2006):
Your fiancee seems to act a bit like i do at the moment in my relationship. like me, She may be usure about how she feels and what she wants but is to afraid to do anything about it.she may have a fear of being alone or maybe fear of doing something she may regret later on. Or maybe she is not ready to get married and would be more comfortable to slow down a little. The best thing you could probably do is have a long talk about how she feels and if need be you could see a councellor together who might be able to help work out what you and her want and need out of this relationship.
I do hope it all works out for you
A
female
reader, Nicky_1 +, writes (14 July 2006):
I'm no agony aunt but I am in sort of a similiar situation. I think she is uncertain about her future with you, hence her behaviour change.She might be afraid to tell you because she's hoping things will sort itself out.Cheating's always a possibility but you have no proof of that.I am in a relationship right now that's going through rough seas and I don't see myself sticking around.I am also currently "bothered with my weight and how my life is turning out."I do love my BF but I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him.I don't know what to offer as a solution but maybe you should do what Sting says,"if you love somebody, set them free."If she's yours she'll come back, if not it was never meant to be. Hope I could help..
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