A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiancee and I flew out to a diff city for a weekend. We were out walking out in public, while sitting on a bus stop he rips out the map that I was looking at since we were lost. So, I told him he can wait till Im done looking at, but he just became mad at me and stared to call me names like "Grow up, stop acting like a child" in front of a group young teenagers. My reply to him was "You can wait, plus Im not acting like one, and stop being mean to me".He was so angry that he left and walked off someplace, while I sat there on the bus stop. Few mins later, I left the bus stop and walked to see nearby tourist place, I was at a place. He came there, since no one was there, he started to yell at me and threatened to end the relationship. Telling me not to destroy his digital camera, or I would have to pay. I became sad but held my tears in, so, I just walked off quietly to a diff bus stop, and sat there waiting. He came, yelling at me out loud that people were looking at us, I started to cry and couldnt control it. He's been yelling how I am a cry baby, and that without him I am nothing etc, how bad of a person I am, that he should kick me out onto the street etc. So I said to him that he doesn't have to be with me if I am so bad. Hours later, he apologized. Tho, I didn't accept much of it nor forgave it. All, in my head that weekend was the thought of "what did I do to deserve this?" I've realized that it's not a normal behaviour to treat someone like the way I have been treated.If he says he love me then he wouldnt have done that correct?What would you have done if you were me?
View related questions:
fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): You did nothing to deserve such abuse that I can see. He obviously has some real issues about your relationship.Are you sure you want to marry him after that temper tantrum?Personally, I'd tell him to go to hell and to STAY THERE!
A
female
reader, skye +, writes (27 August 2007):
 You do not deserve this treatment for you did nothing wrong. This man needs to learn how to behave in an adult relationship.
Im sorry, but he doesnt sound like a person you should choose to spend your life with. You where very brave when he began to yell at you and embarrass you, and Im not surprised you got so upset when he continued. You deserve to have a man who will treat you with respect and kindness.
You simply got lost! Thats something most couples would look back on and laugh at years from now. Yet you have this negative memory of your trip because of him. Imagine if you had children with this man in your future together? Would he treat them this way also?
It is not normal for a man who says he loves and cares for you to treat you this way, despite his apologies. You deserve consideration, respect, thoughtfulness and dignity from your life partner. It does not sound like you can find it with this man. There are decent guys out there who will treat you like a queen.
Im really sorry that you have had to experience this treatment. Put a stop to it now so you never have to endure it again. Remember, you deserve much, much better than this and you can find it elsewhere.
Take care,
Skye
...............................
A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 If this is the first time I would stand my ground and show that this is not to be tolerated even if he has apologised. He needs to learn early on (Now) that he cannot do this to you. I cannot say leave him at this stage because I do not know him. He might have had a moment of pure fustration and you were the target or he was has some underlaying issues he had supressed that just exploded. That being said, however, my father was like that and what he really needed was therapy. I would reccomend you ask him to go to therapy for his outburst to discover the underlaying cause of his outburst. This is the begining stages of mental abuse. Dont let it get any worse. If it continues, if it ever gets physical, leave.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): 100% agree with eyeswideopen. It's not acceptable, and chances are he'll do it again at some point, and it could possibly be worse next time. It's hard to say how you feel, as only you know. You may feel like giving him another chance, but I tell you now, if you are benevolent enough for that then make sure its ONE chance only. If he does it again, walk out that door and don't look back. Best of luck x.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 "What would you have done if you were me?" I'll tell what I'd right NOW, show the jerk the door. He certainly can't love you and treat you like this. He most likely is incapable of truely loving someone because he has too many issues. You will be far happier if you move onto greener pastures, Babe.
...............................
|
