| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Shew relationships, why do they have to be so complicated. I have got myself in a bad situation. To make a long story short...Im in love with a guy thats with someone else, and I am also with someone else. I am also pregnant with this guys baby that im with now. But I think about this other guy all the time. When I wake up in the morning until I go to bed at night. The guy im with now wants to get married and we have already set a date. But for some reason my heart is with this other guy. He has a girlfriend so it makes it hard for me to try to tell him anything about how I feel. I dont know what to do. I know I shouldnt get married but its hard when you're going to have a baby with someone. I was without my mom and dad being together when I was growing up so I know how it is. I just dont know what to do. I am so confused. Please help, any advise would be greatly appreciated.
View related questions:
fiance, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): I am also having the same dilema. I am pregnant which came as a shock as certainly it was not planned. The guy I'm with is lovely, kind, financially secure and loved immensely by all my family and friends. The problem is that my heart is still with my ex and he still loves me and wishes the baby was his. Nobody likes my ex as he used to be a bit of a lay about but now has his own business and is doing well. I still spend a lot of time with him and on a day to day basis we get on so well. I feel suffocated and trapped by my situation. I can't get the energy to do anything. I feel selfish, desperate and alone. I'd love to know how you're getting on.
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (1 December 2006):
 Do you still love the father of your baby? It is possible to love someone and fancy another.
Your are very confused but there are a lot of things up the air at the moment. If you have told the other guy about your feelings, you do not know if he feels the same way about you. It may be temporary crush.
Having a child certainly complicates matters so my heart is with you.
Dont rush into anything and allow yourself time to sort your feelings out.
Lots of hugs xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, raq +, writes (1 December 2006):
 Please,for your sake and your child DO not get married. I know this has to be hard for,i went though similar situation and did get married. It has been a long and greuling divorce.Two years later im still paying for my mistake.Do not worry what everone thinks of you for calling it off,its YOUR right and LIfe. Life is to short,i know that. I been having an affair for the last 3 years,it broke my marriage up and my chap is still living with his partner! I hope find what you are looking for in your life.Tell this chap how you feel, he either make a choice.you or her.At least you will know.Just be honest,relationships are about honesty. Do not get married,thats my only advice.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): Maybe your hormones due to being pregnant are making you have these feelings. Why are you in love with someone else. Have you slept with this other person? what is so wrong with your fella? It's a pity you didn't have these feelings before you became pregnant. Can you not put all your effort into making things work with your fella? Maybe a weekend away or some special time spent together may get it all back on track for you. There isn't just you in this equation now. You have to think carefully about all of this. You don't want your baby to be brought up into an uncertain future. Just because your parents went that way it doesn't necessary mean you are going to do the same. Please think carefully about going any further with this. Talk to your fella and try and start loving him again and salvage what you already have, if anything for the baby's sake. He may even suspect there is something wrong.
Take care
xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): You have some real issues that have everything to do with you and nothing to do with either guy....you would benefit greatly with some professional therapy, seek out a PhD Behavioral or Cognitive Behavioral Psychologist, this will help you sort out your feelings and get a grip on the things that you are doing that are self destructive and will effect the future of your unborn children.
You sound very confused and conflicted and choosing which guy to be with will not sort out your issues or solve your problems....because they are not the reason you are so confused, you are the reason you are so confused....the fact that you grew up with out the security and direction of a cohesive parental influence has everything to do with the situation that you are in now, and you can learn to make better choices, you just need guidance. Please see that you get it.
...............................
|
