A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey,im 30weeks pregnant on sunday, me and my fiance are living in a rented house since august. we have no baby stuff yet, the only things we have got is the things iv paid for. he works and earns £1100 after tax, because of this i cant claim any benifits or job seekers. this means i have no income, iv had a little bit of money saved and i got health in pregnancy grant which went on the cot. my fiance has had april-august to save loads for baby as he lived with his mum. since august we've had about £200 spare a month after bills. he hasnt paid nothing for the baby yet! i have a contract phone which ends in december, iv had to go into my savings for the bills to pay for baby things as its getting close and have nothing for baby, i could go into labour in 6weeks or less!!i asked him why he aint saved any money and he said cus his sis was ment to give us some money to help being as though im not getting any benifits, iv always said not to rely on her and i was right, she still says she's givin us the money but its gettin far to close now.iv asked him bout it since august, he said we'll get baby things end oct, end of oct i asked him n he said end of nov. i dont believe him as he keeps putting it off. does he not care or something?? he has another child and is paying £62 a week for her, we cannot afford this and baby things (espec after baby comes with nappies, formular etc) im so worried about money. im paying for baby things when im getting no imcome and he hasnt paid a penny, i feel me and aiden (my unborn son) are 2nd best and arent important..help!!!
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (5 November 2009):
 I think you should see a benefits advisor at your local citizens advice bureau as there is lots of help for families out there. If you have been working anytime in the last year or so, check if you qualify for maternity allowance (it is an alternative to statutory maternity pay). You should also ask your midwife about healthy start vouchers which are available for low income families. Most working families on a low household wage qualify for tax credit once a baby comes along - now is the time to find out about this and order a claim pack because you won't have time once the baby arrives. Get the claim pack for child benefit too as you can keep this handy to make a claim once the baby arrives.
Tax credit is not like social security benefit - you can have some savings, working-related income and it can be a real help. Ring their helpline to ask. You should also make contact with your local sure start team (midwife may have details) as they can give you lots of advice on sources of money for young families and practical help too. As for paying for baby, if money is tight then you should think about buying other people's unwanted stuff. Often people get lots of gifts of clothing and toys etc that they never use (I did with my boy) and I donated to the local charity shop - brand new untouched stuff by the bag full and I like to think someone benefitted from them. I think your boyfriend should contribute as the household breadwinner. It sounds like he is being made to pay for the other baby and you need to put your foot down. I appreciate he is on a low wage and you shouldn't rely on hand-outs from relatives but you need to make a budget on paper and go through it with him extracting household money from him every couple of weeks. You should also think about breast-feeding (it is free and easy compared to sterilising bottles at 2am!!! Does wonders for getting you back in shape post-baby too).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): Surely you have some sort of maternity leave which should give you around 50 - 75% of your normal salary? If you only have £ 200 left after bills are paid then you are living on the bare minimum as it is and can't afford a child so something must have changed since you got pregnant.If you have lost your job and that is the reason for the current state of your finances you would still be entitled to certain benefits, not to mention a potential lawsuit... firing a pregnant employee is risky business for any company...I hate to ask this because most likely you are a responsible mother-to-be but is there any chance you got pregnant without having a job or any sort of income whilst knowing that your fiancé won't be able to pay for you both? If so, I must say it is extremely stupid thing to do and would prove that you are not ready for a child!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): Have you worked at all during the pregnancy? I am just wondering why you are expecting him to pay for everything for the baby and are begrudging using your own money for it. Surely that is the sort of things savings are designed for. I can see that you might be on maternity leave now but presumably you have been working until quite recently? If this is so, then your boyfriend needs to get his priorities straight and contribute to the baby, although of course there is only so far his money will stretch, especially if he alreasy has another child to pay for. You are right that you cannot rely on his sister for money. I'm just wondering why you have no income, as you state, because surely you should be getting some sort of statutory maternity pay?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): You clearly cannot count on your boyfriend for financial help and no amount of nagging will encourage him to fork over some cash. It's a shame that he's acting so cowardly, but if he's not stepping up,then you need to take control of your finances to make a great life for this baby.
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