A
female
age
41-50,
*uzzedluv
writes:I think I am dealing with a compulsive liar and I dont know what to do. I have been with my fiance for almost three years now and things just seem to be getting worse. When we first met he had told me all of these things. Lies.That his roomate was kicking him out.(never happened) he was shot in the head in air force.(no one still knows if this is true or not) about being with nearly 90 woman (wasnt true)it is like he takes the truth twist it and exaggerates a lot. Anyhow I didnt find the truth about all of this until maybe a year and half into our relationship.Of course I was emotionally attached and loved him by this point. And those things didnt affect "us" in the now. But about 6 months ago I had some medical issues where I had gone in for a routine check up and ended up having to get biopsies performed. This was the point I needed his undivided support as anyone would. Instead I was ridiculed for being a "hypochondriach" and just going out wasting money on test that "I wanted" ......I was like "what?????? that set my emotions back for a bit...any how then we of course made up I still feel hurt when I think of that. Next story is his truck..... he was pulled over got a ticket for speeding then it was time for registration renewel well instead of renewing it he told me he was pulled over again and that the cop told him "I'm watching you" it was all so strange....when I asked where he was pulled over his story changed twice. So he decided I would start taking him to work in the morning which is no big deal. until a couple of months later we got into another huge argument and he called his mother told her he was leaving me and amongst their conversation he mentioned the "truck" and that it was my fault and I didnt "allow" him to drive to work by that point I was done! I thought this guy is insane. When I confronted him about it he said no that she must have misunderstood him.The next major thing was the most recent I have been ill with a horrible sinus infection for almost a month now. and to top it off recently stomach flu. So I have been SICK. If you have ever had a severe sinus infection then you know the pain and how it zaps your energy. But I was still halfway functional just not as much. Then just this past weekend had the stomach flu with fever so of course I stayed in bed constantly for over three days.....So that brings me to the last argument. during our last fight he pops off and said I have been sick for "months"!! and laying around wanting pitty. omgosh....and that I dont do anything unless I am told do so. WOW!!!another thing my mother is coming to visit me anyhow he told me that my children are excited for her to come because they told him "the real reason" they were excited. So I asked my children why they were happy and they said because they hadnt seen her in a while and that was all. They also looked confused. Then later on they asked me why I asked them such a strange question. I told them I was just wondering how they felt....then my oldest enters the room and said well (my fiance) was saying to them that when grandma comes maybe I will get out of bed.....I was speachless....Let me remind you I was in bed 3 days with a fever,,,,,that is it........of course there is so much more going on. It is just so confusing because most of the time he is so nice sweet selfless and treats me so wonderfully....but then he has these strange outburst of a distorted reality. I just dont know anymore any help will be greatly appreciated
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (16 March 2013):
 First, sorry to hear you have been so ill!
He really is not in the least bit concerned for your well-being. To say he's inconsiderate would be putting it far too mildly.
As if that wasn't bad enough, the man is a compulsive, habitual liar with a distorted sense of reality.
In your shoes, I definitely would not marry him. You'd be making a huge mistake!
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (9 March 2013):
 Whether your fiancee is telling the truth or not, remains to be seen. The fact that you have serious trust issues with him is a problem. You've been together for 3 years now, and it seems like you hardly know the man -- or worse you don't believe anything he says. Why would you want to marry someone you don't trust? Why are you investing precious time and emotion energy on someone like this? Do you think by marrying him he'll be easier to believe or that he'll magically get better?
It does appear that his treatment of you while you were sick was rather unsympathetic. Has he always been like this, or is it something new? Sometimes us guys can be ignorant of the suffering you are going through. Either way, though, it does show that he seems to be fairly self-absorbed -- much like his stories.
I don't think there are any magic cures for your relationship. However, I do think it would be a good time to take some down time and really ask yourself if this is the man of your dreams? If he never changed an iota would you regret marrying him or are you setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery. Only you can make the decision -- you have the full history and you know what you are getting into. After 3 years of dating, I think you can make an informed choice.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 March 2013):
 When you needed him most, he mocked you and didn't help. I think that pretty much sums up what you can expect from him for the rest of your life. Plus trying to figure out the colorful stories will drain your energy.
Sorry he's an insensitive compulsive liar, when he's not being lovely, but why would you want to live with the uncertainty of always wondering which guy is going to show up?
Maybe this is your wake up call… there are other men in the world who are lovely and who don't pull the rug out from under you when you need them most. Don't you deserve that?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2013): Dump him.
That simple. He'll never change for the better. It's only going to get worse.
Even if you love him.
You have kids, a guy like him around them would be possibly dangerous.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2013): With regard to the truth or lack thereof in any of your fiance's stories, only he can tell you.
Whatever the case, DO NOT marry this man while you have so many unresolved doubts about him.
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