A
female
age
36-40,
*lackcatsz333
writes:My fiance "hangs out" with other girls. Should I be concerned about this???
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 well to be honest, you cant expect him to cut all ties with his friends - its completely normal for guys to have girl friends. but there should be some boundaries, he shouldnt be meeting up with them alone, and he shouldnt be spending so much time with them - have you suggested going out with him and these girls? if you still feel insecure about it then tell him how you feel. he should respect this and understand that there are limits. if you do have a problem with this, talk to him and ask him to spend less time with them. why can he go out with you and have a good time aswell? i have male friends and my boyf knows, but i dont really see them that much, and he has met them all. as long as you trust him and he keeps it within reason, then it should be fine. email me if you want hun good luck xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): Unless they are his sisters, I would find that very strange and I wouldn't like it at all. My ex boyfriend had a few girl "friends" when we met. Every guy does. But soon after he and I became serious I noticed he cut all contact with these girl "friends." I never asked, he never explained, but it was pretty obvious that it wasn't that innocent(atleast on his part). Perhaps it was just "friends" but as long as a man is a man and he thinks with his other head, on his part it won't ever be completely innocent. So my bf was just doing it out of respect for me and our relationship. That taught me alot about how men really should be and what they think.
Look yes its weird and I don't think he should be doing that. Men are men. They think about sex alot. And he has a fiance. Its inappropriate. But why is this not something you brought up at the beginning of this relationship? You can't date someone for years and then realise you are not cool with them being the way they have always been and then make it an issue all of a sudden.
Always at the beginning of a relationship, if you feel something is wrong, you bring it up right away. I don't even talk about it, I just make a face that says, "That might not cut it with me." At the beginning of the relationship is the easiest time to walk away. That is why it is also the best time to make sure they really treat you right and show you that they are going to be great.
I guess at this point, I would definitely bring it up somehow. In general, this is not something you should have to bring up to a guy. Alot of guys know better. But this guy sounds a bit immature or perhaps he is taking advantage of the fact that it doesn't bother you so far.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 If you think it is a problem , it will be a problem.
You should communicate with him about your feelings and if he insists on doing it , then you can go and hang around with your male buddies and see how he would react.
What is fair for the goose ,is fair for the gander!
Probably his male mind could not see from your female angle.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): Hi Hunny
Its a problem if its upsetting you, So talk with him my fella had lots of female friends but as the relationship went on he spends more time with me and my mates funny enough I wouldnt mind if his old mates phoned and wanted him to go out as he hasnt seen them for awhile but you need to talk with your fella hunny and just explain how this is making you feel he may be able to pop your mind at rest...TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 "hangs outs" where? At a bar? Coffee Shops? At Home? Their place?
The situation depends on where, with how many and what time he is with them. He could just be friends with them or it could be worse. More info would be great. But otherwise you have to think whether you trust him or not
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): Sorry, but i am a fair bit older than you and i wouldnt like my bloke hanging out with loads of girls, maybe he just hasnt grown up. Have a word with him and explain how you feel and you are not keen on him hanging out with the girlies.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): Well you know, I've been with my bf 15months and although I trust him with all of my heart, I still cant help worrying if he goes out with other girls. So if I was in your shoes, I guess I'd be worrying a bit. However, it doesnt mean he's cheating or fancies them, he's probably just good mates with them and as long as he spends lots of time with you too then I don't think its a real problem. But if you start getting too anxious about it or are concerned, then definitely tell him. He's your fiance, so you guys should be able to talk openly about these things, so try doing so. And if it gets too bad or you're suspicious, ask him to go out with them less. I'm sure he should find this no problem if you don't like it. Good luck :]
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