A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I cheated on my fiance with a guy I work with and he found out. We broke up today. We have been together for almost five years and lived together for, four years. I miss him so much but at the same time part of me is relieved it's over. How long will it take for my heart to heal?? Do you you think he'll ever be able to forgive me?
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broke up, fiance, I work with Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWere both going to take some time apart. In a few months time were going to see where we are and how we feel. If we were to get back together we would have a lot of other problems to work through in addition to my cheating. I'm trying to think positively about all this because I know that I was unhappy before with a lot of things and in time i'm going to be able to change my life for the better. Thanks for all the advice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): my husband cheated on me to. i foud out 3 months before
we got married that he had been sleeping with my brothers
fiancee for the past 2 years..... yeah i forgave him and we still got married and had a huge wedding (400 guest)and
i still dont know why because i think about it every day.
waat can i do now... (ps no children yet)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI keep thinking about my motives for cheating. I think that because I wasn't strong enough to leave him on my own I cheated on him. I was so unhappy. No, I don't want to be with him anymore. I know I went about getting out of relationship all the wrong way. And I know its not fair but I want him to forgive me for what I did. I hope that he can move on and that I can too. Thanks for your responces
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): Well, I am in a similar situation as you, however I am wearing the shoes of your fiance. My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me with his secretary while I was 4 week due to deliver my daughter. So, I know how your fiance feels. It has almost been a year since I had been cheated on and I still do not forgive my ex for doing what he did. You can not put a time limit on forgivness. You of course feel guilty, but do you feel more guilt because you got caught or because you hurt your fiance? I think you are being a bit selfish asking when your heart will heal when nothing was done to your heart. It's your fiance's heart that you should be most concerned with. I understand that people make mistakes, I understand that people learn from them, but you have to ask yourself if your fiance is really the person you want to be with? If so, you need to bend over backwards for this man. I can guarentee that there will be moments your fiance will blame himself, get very angry with you, and be at a complete loss of his entire world which at one point was you. I think right now you need to give him time, give him space and let him deal with what just came about. You owe him that.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 no disrespect intended but do you deserve his forgiveness? i think that you may be over optimistic here. i think time is a great healer but you hurt him quite bad.
as for your heart healing, i'm unsure because you're wrapped with guilt, that he found out, if he hadn't - you'd not have told him and he feels your entire time together has been a lie and quite justifiably really.
you missing him means nothing, he has to mend his broken heart and try to regain the confidence and trust issues he's now going to have because you went behind his back with someone else.
lets hope he was worth it, because you have ended the marriage before it has begun.
i do hope you learn from this and i'm not judging you - everyone makes mistakes but don't do it again.
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