A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiancé cheated on me about 8 months ago. I found out though a text message and she initially denied it but after 15 minutes she admitted to kissing this guy. I took a short break to think and I forgave her because she just kissed him. We have been dating for 5 years now and we just got engaged in February. Yesterday she told me she just tested positive for HPV, I became suspicious and question her about doing more than just kissing that guy. After a short conversation she went silent and then says "I had sex with him". I don't know who gave her HPV (she tested negative last year) as it can lay dormant for several years. But I suspect it was the new guy. Should I still marry her, I love her but she lied to me several times about this. She was very upset and wants to get married, she said it was a huge mistake and that she regrets it. What should I do?
View related questions:
cheated on me, engaged, kissing, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mygambit +, writes (14 April 2010):
You can either 1 forgive her and move on with your lives, or 2 you can throw it away. Before you choose either see what else she is hiding do you still love her can you imagine your self without her ask how many other men she has cheated on you with go on find out for your self personally i would try to forgive her if its only been a one time affair if she has been in a ongoing one well thats up to you
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): Don't be too hasty in throwing away a good relationship for one moment of indiscretion. Did you really think that she would have told you unless she had too? Probably not as she most likely loves you a lot and didn't want to risk your relationship.Had this been the second time she'd been caught cheating my advice would have been different. But everyone can make one mistake....
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 April 2010):
I think because she lied and waiting until you got engaged, you can safely say that this was planned by her. She knew that if she told you before you got engaged you might not do it. So she waited until after. And let's face it, she only came clean when it really hit the fan. I think you should move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): Do not think of marriage with her at all. If you want to save ur life.also stop sex also. u are not sure what desease she mihjt have contracted by now and not telling
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): When you love someone it is easier to try and excuse them and pretend they are the person you had hoped - than face the stark truth. Your girlfriend has conracted HPV from someone new - she has cheated on you. My concern is for your own health - physical and mental. Trying to continue the relationhip on the basis of a pack of lies and living with the threat of contracting genital warts yourself is going to threaten both. You can and will love again - go and find someone that respects you so that you can respect yourself.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): You don't need this. She cheated. She lied repeatedly. She only came clean at all because she got caught by the evidence, not because she has changed in any way.What makes you think she only cheated with this guy? What makes you think she isn't still doing it? What makes you think she was ever faithful at any point in the relationship? I know the story is probably more complicated than I'm treating it but the facts are the same either way. She's been lying to you all over the place. She has not shown you any reason to trust her. That's no way to build a marriage.
...............................
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 You've been dating 5 years; she tested negative last year. I think you have all the information you need.
...............................
|
