A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My friend has recently started dating a guy, let's call him Q.She has been hanging out with Q and another guy, who is also my friend, let's call him DQ is a horrible immature guy, who has no respect for anyone or anything and he's only dating my friend so he can tell everyone that he's got a girlfriend.Whereas D is really nice, friendly etc. etc. He has told me that he likes my friend a lot, but he is to scared to ask her out in case she rejects him.Now that she's dating Q, D has been moping around and has stopped laughing and working on his schoolwork etc. etc. I feel really bad for him because he is my friend, But I know that Q will try and keep dating my friend for as long as possible, because he thinks that it makes him cool.I have tried to tell her that Q is rubbish, without telling her that D really likes her, because he doesn't want her to know, and there's probably someone who's a lot better, but she won't listen because she thinks that Q's the only one who likes her.I know it's not really my business, but D has gone all depressed, and my friend is only dating Q because she thinks that he is the only person that will want to date her.I know that we're basically still kids, and in a few years time all this stuff won't matter, but I hate seeing D so down, and my friend being used.Is there anyway I can help these two without it seeming like I'm sticking my nose in where it's not wanted, or should I just let them sort it out themselves???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2012): No offence OP but if D is that much of a wuss then he wouldn't make a good boyfriend either. Who wants to date a wuss, a guy who instead of taking risks, instead of going and getting what he wants mopes, gets depressed and becomes passive aggressive watching other guys take the girls he wants?
You're young OP but as you get older you'll see that guys like that aren't sweet and sensitive, they're wusses and generally insecure, they're generally guys who never really feel secure in relationships and end up controlling, possessive and jealous.
Unless he changes his attitude OP he's going to be one of those guys who just fails at life, sits back and watches other people living theirs always complaining about how unfair things are.
He might be a nice guy and a nice friend but that doesn't mean he'd make a good boyfriend OP, if he doesn't even have the balls to go get the girl in case she says no then what use is he?
If you really want to help him OP you'll tell him a thing or two about girls. Things like they're not going to know you like them magically, you have to ask them out, you have to let them know that you like them. Things like girls aren't some scary monsters that are going to bite his head off for showing interest in them, things like it's not the biggest deal in the world to be rejected not everyone can like everyone else and most importantly OP tell him if he will never ever get a girl unless he has the balls to actually put in the effort to get one.
That's the only way you can help him, as for Q OP you've done all you can and now it's none of your business, you've told her your opinion and the rest is up to her, you can't make her dump him and if you keep pushing this then she's going to start thinking you're a bit of an interfering so-and-so.
Let their relationship happen whatever happens, keep your nose out of it. but you can help D by explaining to him he could have had her if only he got up off his arse and did something about liking her, help him understand that this only happened and he only lost out because he was too chicken shit to make a move. He who dares wins OP, and those who don't get to sit back and watch as I get the girls they secretly admire but are too cowardly to get.
He's not nice OP, he's a wuss, there's a difference, I'm nice, I'm sensitive but I'm also a guy how gets things done and gets what he wants. A nice guy wouldn't sit back and let the asshole take the girl, he would step up and ensure he gets her instead.
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